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Author
Topic: Enjoy!
Beasties
Posts: 16
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
DONT READ THE FOLLOWING 4 STORIES IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH -ESPECIALLY
THE LAST ONE !!!


About 7 am on August 25th 1998, thirty-six year old Mrs Sarah Jenson
started her period. By the time she arrived at work an hour later, she
had started to experience a chronic itching sensation in her crotch.

Sarah worked as an advisor in a call centre and had recently
received a final warning about her poor attendance record. To keep her
job, she tried to ignore the itch and got on with answering customers
calls.

At 11:25am she reported to her boss that she suffering from
severe abdominal pain and it was only when she collapsed in her own
vomit that he called for an ambulance. She was admitted to the Lincoln
Hospital, Texas where doctors discovered that her vagina was greatly swollen
and her labia had distended to three times normal size. Whilst cleaning
the inflamed area, a tampon was found and it was sent away for analysis.
Suspecting Toxic Shock Syndrome, Sarah was kept under close observation
until her condition was no longer critical. One week later the Lab
results on the tampon arrived and doctors were baffled to find that it
contained traces of wasp venom. It transpires that Sarah was having an affair
with her aerobics instructor, and when her husband Mr Henry Jenson found out,
he was so enraged he wanted revenge. Knowing his wife was allergic to
insect stings, he purchased wasp venom through a biochemical company. He
lightly coated his wife s tampons with the venom, resealed the individual
wrappers and replaced them in their box. Mrs Jenson has filed for a
divorce and a case of grievously bodily harm. Mr Jenson is reported as saying,
"I just wanted her to have a swell time without me."





In March 1997, Brian Crenshaw, a chemical engineer from West
London, returned to the UK after spending the previous six months
overseeing work at a petrochemicals plant in Nigeria. During his first week
back, his wife complained that he seemed to have difficulty listening
properly.

Brian suggested that his ears had not fully recovered from
the air pressure changes experienced during his flight. Over the next two
weeks, Brian s condition worsened as he started to feel tickling sensations
deep in his ears. Thinking the trouble was caused by loosened ear wax,he
attempted to clean his ears with a ballpoint pen. When he pressed it into
his right ear, he heard a cracking sound and saw the pen covered in a
yellow goo.

He went to his local GP claiming had punctured his ear drum.The GP
reached into Brian s right ear with a pair of tweezers and pulled
out what appeared to be an insect antenna. During the examination Brian was horrified to learn that he had a total of 5 African cockroaches living in
his head. Four cockroaches were alive and one cockroach was dead,
presumably crushed by Brian s pen attack.

An investigation revealed that when Brian was in Nigeria, a female
African cockroach must have laid numerous eggs in the toiletries bag
where he kept his cotton buds. When he was cleaning his ears, he was also
transferring the cockroach eggs to his inner ear where they started to
hatch.

> > > > >> > >
On September 4 1999 at 9.30 am Ron Guptey of N.S.W Australia
went into hospital complaining of severe pain in the rectum area. The
doctor on call examined him, he found severe swelling around the anus but
was left puzzled because he had not seen such a thing before. Two more
doctors examined and they too were left confused about what was happening.

Rons health was deteriorating as the day wore on, he developed a fever
and was suffering a lot of pain around his abdomen. The doctors
gave pain killers but the symptoms worsened until 2.57 pm when he
lapsed into a coma and 2 hours later was pronounced dead. An investigation was
led to discover the reason of death.

During the post mortem, traces of wood bark were found inside the rectal
passage, but as the examination went further the doctor discovered about
3 or 4 black widow spiders in Ron s intestine. The police found a tree with
a cut of branch along the side in Ron s back yard, there were traces of
KY jelly and traces of rectal juices along the branch.

There was also Black widow egg shells found inside the bark. Ron was
apparently satisfying himself with this tree stump, but failed to notice
the black widow nest on the tree. During his sexual act he had impregnated
himself with the black widow eggs. The eggs had embedded in his rectal
passage walls and were kept at the required temperature
for the eggs to develop and finally hatch. Once the baby spiders were
hatched they had bitten him and had poisoned him from the
inside.

Guess he was barking up the wrong tree.....






NOW FOR THE BIG ONE...
Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.
One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery
Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea,
but when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was urinary pain.

It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong
hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In
paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes
continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth
while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.

She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the
police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the
floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her
leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer
her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent
crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted
up.

When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her
vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed
its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.

Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile
bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it
sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back
and forth.

The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in.
When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so
horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp
flipping and splashing at a furious pace.

If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms.
DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and
severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she
saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the
toilet and then on the floor.

It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident
she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub,
she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure.

At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to
flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian
XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in
front of the tub.

The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in
a paper bag.
Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along
with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail
joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in
lighters.

The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be
full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them
they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly
boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms.
DeLucci's c**t when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to
gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period,
doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the
perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger
version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night
the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten
minutes.

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SkiBro
Posts: 187
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland
OMG those stories are SICK! and i mean the BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD SICK!
omg i just can't believe this stuff
Beasties
Posts: 17
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
well thats why there is a warning
spagNamo|i
Posts: 150
Location: Melbourne, Victoria

FFS buy a dildo you losers!..
Akumas
Posts: 146
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Not that sick , im 11 but meh!
Chubbles
Posts: 691
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
holy s*** some ppl do some crazy s***
Cheers
Posts: 720
Location: Hobart, Tasmania
yer they r k rad a-
spagNamo|i
Posts: 155
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
speaking of crazy s***, wtf is the deal with that massive Ngensis sig piccie thing?????

!!!
Frag Terminator
Posts: 3974
Location: Adelaide, South Australia
omfg thats sickening
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