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Topic: This is the Last Post
Hogfather
Posts: 17097
Location: Cairns, Queensland

This is my eLeaving post. There are many like it but this one is mine. If you're super tricksy sneaky Hobbitses you'll probably be able to find even cringier (no s***!) eLeaving posts of mine around here. I'm almost certain I've come and gone at least once. This forum is ancient, stone-faced and hoary. There is lingering wisdom and folly alike on these dusty shelves.

As you should know by now, I have Multiple Sclerosis. I've had it for a long time. In trog's Winding up QGL post, he made reference to a donation made on my behalf to the MS Society of Queensland. Thank you guys. I'm actually all misty again thinking about that, but mistiness isn't that hard to cause today. Still counts.

Over the years my condition has deteriorated. Its f***ed right now. Heaps f***ed. Its getting harder for me to be articulate without writing formal essays. I don't get around that much now, although (un?) luckily the rot is evenly spread across my mind and body so I'm a stick user rather than a wheelie man. There is no luck here though, only gradual creeping numbness. Its gentle, at least. Unfortunately I have developed some RUOK problems lately so its time for me to retire from the online life pretty much. If you know where to look though, you'll find me :)

My wife -- the famous chef! -- begins to morph into my power of attorney (enduring and otherwise) this week, a situation that will likely become legal early next year. Its time to say goodbye guys, its been f***en hyuge. I miss Mav and I didn't erven get to meet him :(

SO ANYWAY I meant to sign off forever with my simple 'GG' post in that Winding up QGL thread but here we are. I got sucked into the Political Thread a couple times on the way out and I need to make it stick this time. I don't have a lot of energy these days and don't want to 'waste' it arguing with you f***wits! Speaking of segues I want to slip in an apology here somewhere. We'll make it quick like a bandaid; I've always prided myself on playing the game with a close eye to not making personal attacks and instead focus on the substance of the argument. Technically that's an apology I think.

Sorry again if this doesn't make a lot of sense, I think it looks straight now.

[TLDR]: Hogfather has left the game (17097 not out).
[TLDR]: EOF
system
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Spook
Posts: 41532
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
wow hoggy, that is terrible mate.

you dint really mention your deteriorating condition, so didnt realise it was that bad.

wishing you all the best mate with whatever comes!

infi
Posts: 24794
Location: Brisbane, Queensland

that is very sad to hear and I hope you are able to enjoy life for a long time to come despite the condition.
PornoPete
Posts: 4281
Location: Melbourne, Victoria

I don't have a lot of energy these days and don't want to 'waste' it arguing with you f***wits!


Probably sound.

I'm sorry to hear you are getting worse, and I hope it works out as well as it can.

I apologize if I got up your nose.
dais
Posts: 12355
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Best wishes Hogfather.
paveway
Posts: 21606
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Goodbye Hogbrother
Strik3r
Posts: 2203
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
All the best Hoggy. Farewell.
trog
AGN Admin
Posts: 40076
Location: Other International

Really sorry to hear it Hoggy and you will be greatly missed around these parts. It has been great having you as part of the community for such a long time. Best of luck and hope you can enjoy some quality gaming fun with great people (or failing that, some Dota).
fpot
Posts: 27280
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland

Really sorry to hear that Hog, and best of luck to you and Mrs Hog.
trillion
Posts: 4494
Location: Ballarat, Victoria
wait what, when are you releasing your RPG ?
bargain
Posts: 2064
Location: Melbourne, Victoria
Oh mate, really sorry to hear about your condition :( Really hope you can get the best treatment, and wishing you the best possible quality of life.



I only popped back here recently, but it'll be a shame not to see your posts mate. All the best.
Steve Farrelly
AusGamers Editor
Posts: 8729
Location: Sydney, New South Wales

This is my eLeaving post. There are many like it but this one is mine. If you're super tricksy sneaky Hobbitses you'll probably be able to find even cringier (no s***!) eLeaving posts of mine around here. I'm almost certain I've come and gone at least once. This forum is ancient, stone-faced and hoary. There is lingering wisdom and folly alike on these dusty shelves.

As you should know by now, I have Multiple Sclerosis. I've had it for a long time. In trog's Winding up QGL post, he made reference to a donation made on my behalf to the MS Society of Queensland. Thank you guys. I'm actually all misty again thinking about that, but mistiness isn't that hard to cause today. Still counts.

Over the years my condition has deteriorated. Its f***ed right now. Heaps f***ed. Its getting harder for me to be articulate without writing formal essays. I don't get around that much now, although (un?) luckily the rot is evenly spread across my mind and body so I'm a stick user rather than a wheelie man. There is no luck here though, only gradual creeping numbness. Its gentle, at least. Unfortunately I have developed some RUOK problems lately so its time for me to retire from the online life pretty much. If you know where to look though, you'll find me :)

My wife -- the famous chef! -- begins to morph into my power of attorney (enduring and otherwise) this week, a situation that will likely become legal early next year. Its time to say goodbye guys, its been f***en hyuge. I miss Mav and I didn't erven get to meet him :(

SO ANYWAY I meant to sign off forever with my simple 'GG' post in that Winding up QGL thread but here we are. I got sucked into the Political Thread a couple times on the way out and I need to make it stick this time. I don't have a lot of energy these days and don't want to 'waste' it arguing with you f***wits! Speaking of segues I want to slip in an apology here somewhere. We'll make it quick like a bandaid; I've always prided myself on playing the game with a close eye to not making personal attacks and instead focus on the substance of the argument. Technically that's an apology I think.

Sorry again if this doesn't make a lot of sense, I think it looks straight now.

[TLDR]: Hogfather has left the game (17097 not out).
[TLDR]: EOF


Epic mate. Sad to not only see you go, but hear about this forever transition in your life. Thanks for all the posts and support over the years. Can't say much more than you'll be missed, but not forgotten.
Sir Redhat
Posts: 2370
Location: Sydney, New South Wales

Sad to hear pogfather
arkter
Posts: 1909
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland

You were always a pillar of the community here. Godspeed.
E.T.
Posts: 5203
Location: Queensland

I'm at a loss for words Hoggy. QGL just got that much emptier :(
I wish only good things for you.
BladeRunner
Posts: 3056
Location: Queensland

I'm sorry to hear that, mate. Do what you can and enjoy what you can.
Denominator
Posts: 993
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Please don't go until we hold an office party. We all want cake.

All the best buddy spend you time with family.
notgreazy
Posts: 1013
Location: Other International

f***ing hell. It's 1.30am here in melbourne, decided to check the ol' QGL and what do I see.

Good bye Hogfather.
Ross
Posts: 2487
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
CYA DUDE!
Agamemnon
Posts: 1158
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Sorry to hear you're not doing great mate :(

You're a champion bloke, I'll miss you and your considered responses

Just reminiscing about the old aus-1 server... sigh

If you get bored, happy to chat :)
Dodgymon
Posts: 2854
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
first time on this forum in ages but there is only really one thing I can say.
BLBK.

Hogfather
Posts: 17099
Location: Cairns, Queensland

The welcome execution of the Politics threads means that my exit from this community is no longer necessary.

I f***ing love you trog.
E.T.
Posts: 5204
Location: Queensland

The welcome execution of the Politics threads means that my exit from this community is no longer necessary.

I f***ing love you trog.



:)
`ViPER`
Posts: 4211
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
We havent spoken in a long time, but you might remember when you did some work for a company I was working at over 7 years ago, you helped setup a payment gateway for us. Many hours spent getting this working, but you got it sorted profesionnaly and for a good price.

Sucks about the MS. My ex wife has it and I wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Getting offline is probably a good idea, take it back to the simple stuff, family and friends.

All the best.
Hogfather
Posts: 17106
Location: Cairns, Queensland

We havent spoken in a long time, but you might remember when you did some work for a company I was working at over 7 years ago, you helped setup a payment gateway for us. Many hours spent getting this working, but you got it sorted profesionnaly and for a good price.

I do remember that job!

Unfortunately after you left they got a bit silly about paying invoices for maintenance so it all went a bit south.
HeardY
Gaelic newb
Posts: 21554
Location: Sydney, New South Wales

Hey man, I don't check this forum nearly as often as I should.

Good luck with the MS, my cousins wife has it and it sucks that there isn't a cure.

Reading the above seems you now may hang about, here's hoping 👍
Pinky
Posts: 13956
Location: Melbourne, Victoria

Hey Hogfather, I eLeft this forum some time ago, maybe you remember me, maybe not. I only find myself back here thanks to reviewing password strength in my p/w manager.

All the best to you and your family with your condition. My best mate's wife has MS but nothing like yours (yet). I hope that you're getting the support you need from our social services, and if you're not, that's bulls***, and I always think of people like yourself and my voice is heard when I vote in consideration of social support issues.
Hogfather
Posts: 17110
Location: Cairns, Queensland

I need to eLeave more often, all these rad people coming out of the woodwork!

My last few years has been a struggle to say the least. I re-entered full time employment after I ceased trading with my business, thinking a simple 9 to 5 would be easier to manage than a business. It was a nightmare.

I also had a dark period dealing with the Australian Government Department of Health trying to transition off employment and onto support. Anyone who claims that this process is too easy and encourages bludgers hasn't tried it anytime recently. Mental health problems are essentially a given for people with MS, and the outright malevolence of the Department did nothing to help and caused me a great deal of harm.

This harm caused by employers, Human Resources Managers and the Department took me a long time to recover from and was part of my original decision to drop out of QGL. I found that I couldn't visit without falling into the politics thread black hole, which was unhealthy. On the same note please don't turn my remarks here into a political discussion I'm not interested in, I'm just reporting my personal experience.

Selling my web hosting/dev business and dealing with insurance agencies was in contrast super easy which is ludicrous.

Fortunately my in laws helped us out a lot and eventually it all worked out in the end; I'm in a pretty good spot now. I've had time, space and support to get my s*** in order and I'm working as I can on my game to maybe one day get off the pension for a while before actual retirement.
Pinky
Posts: 13957
Location: Melbourne, Victoria

>> all these rad people coming out of the woodwork!

Hehe, I'm getting a bit nostalgic when I look at my post count. I had a lot of free time back when I used to post here. Life's changed a lot now, with our 4-year old kid (and separation *deep sigh*) and my current work.

>> I re-entered full time employment after I ceased trading with my business, thinking a simple 9 to 5 would be easier to manage than a business. It was a nightmare.

Exactly what I did after being self-employed for four years. The change was a ridiculous success for me. I have none of the risk and almost triple the financial reward now. The balance was so wrong for the company I ended up owning after 8 years working for the previous owner. I learned a hell of a lot about business, people (/scumbags), and life, so that's worth a lot, I suppose. I recently wrote a Python script in one evening using Beancount (plain text accounting) to automatically double-entry account my full ING Direct history and I wouldn't have been able to do that in one evening without everything I learned doing books and managing investments for the company, so it does pay off. The legal experience as well, with employee contracts (and I lost a FairWork claim once...) really taught me a lot about how to go about things as well.

>> Selling my web hosting/dev business and dealing with insurance agencies was in contrast super easy which is ludicrous.

Eek!!!
Hogfather
Posts: 17114
Location: Cairns, Queensland

The legal experience as well, with employee contracts (and I lost a FairWork claim once...) really taught me a lot about how to go about things as well.

BIG POAST Story time! *

The workload and corporate culture compliance expectations of a person with my skillset, experience and age is ridiculous for someone also carrying a disability. There are laws and such Governing this, but once a workplace sticks you in the problem corner you are always completely f***ed beyond recovery. You simply cannot work where you are unwanted and disliked because of your disability's needs.

My first job back in the fold was as CTO for my previous primary client. We'd worked together for a decade and software of my creation (while under contract) had gradually become 80% of their overrall turnover and core engine of business. If my SaaS platform was chugging along obediently processing tasks then everyone made money. If it didn't the cash tap turned off and everyone's hair caught fire. During my year as CTO growth was steady and strong, sometime near midyear we had a gold-plated pen gifting event because we smashed some volume milestones. Feeling pretty good about my first year I decided when the 12 month contract came up I'd ask for a raise as it had become apparent to me that compared to the other C-level execs I was lowly paid, despite assurances at the start that all C-levels were remunerated effectively at the same level.

The response was an extremely hostile 3-hour meeting with the owner. This wasn't a negotiation, it was a berating that despite my 40-hour contract because I couldn't put in 60-80 hour weeks raises and/or equity were unsuitable despite the business' success. My basic disability accommodation requests were annoying other staff members who had become envious of my comings and goings. Ironically the things I asked for (like flexible office hours, regular work from home options) turned into the way everyone had to work for months come 2020.

Rather than pursue my rights in the matter I exited and a friend that I had introduced to the solution space eventually took it over (with my blessing). c***s engaged me for a couple weeks contract work to help the transition and got snarky about the release of the final invoice.

I was rapidly employed as the CIO of another local enterprise. I had options, having faithfully and successfully served many local businesses. I didn't disclose the MS as I was not asked if I had any disability that could affect my regular duties. Please note that this is my fundamental right under Industrial Law. Having been beaten around the head as CTO I decided to play my cards close to my chest and just put in a super-competent and diligent 9-5 as CIO. Things went well for a few months and despite some envious people complaining that apparently I acted like I was too good for the place (wtf does that even mean anyway?) I was in a pretty good place.

The company had a number of really shoddy shortcomings across their Information Systems and I rapidly worked to fix them, completely destroying the KPIs I had been set so rapidly that my direct report (the CFO) didn't bother replacing them with new ones (I don't have time! Just do your thing!). As a result I ended up predominantly working directly for the owner of the business and on my own initiatives rather than through the established chain of command (CIO->CFO->GM). I think this led to some issues and put those people above me offside early on, but if you don't give me work to do I will find some and demonstrate value to the guy paying my salary. Its how I do; if in turn you oppose competence and enthusiasm in your workplace then something is plainly pants-on-head stupid.

Around Easter of that year I had a relapse with some hospital time and was forced to disclose my condition. Rather than warm get well soon cards and well-wishes I was confronted with silence and then hostility from HR and Management on return to work (complete with my new walking stick accessory) because I hadn't disclosed my condition. The relapse was a big setback and and I could no longer 'fake it' as a normie without simple, easily-met accommodations. This immediately turned into the now-familiar clusterf*** and the workplace became actively hostile.

Smelling blood in the water another Director unrelated to my report chain started to pile on. The owner claimed to have my back but did nothing material to stop any of it, placing the onus on me to demonstrate the necessity of any MS-related needs. People I had been on good terms with distanced themselves from me. My initiatives were suddenly canned. I was required to report any hours performed off-site with a pink f***ing form like I was a casual rather than a salaried six-figure C-level company executive. This level of scrutiny was only applied to me across the Management team.

I was accused of 'using MS to get my way' when seeking very minor accommodations like permission to wear 2 (omfg!) headphones at once while working to drive out the noise of the open plan because I was struggling to retain focus with conversation around me. The consensus was that I am a faithless and craven person who was faking it for advantages and a lazy ride, despite my ongoing excellent actual work. This paraphrased statement was made to me in a 1:1 meeting with the owner as something reported to him by other Managers and Staff. Realising how grossly inappropriate that was he immediately backtracked and said not to worry about that. There were daily beatdowns basically. Everything became a problem.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when I asked for the company to promote a 'stay home if you are sick' policy because flu was rampant and I had recently been hospitalised with severe Swine Flu complications. My treatment is lymphocyte-suppressive making me super vulnerable to infections and this seemed like a fair call to make given how tightly packed we were and the tendency for some to want to 'soldier on' rather than use their actual sick time when clearly infectious. I was told by the owner that they couldn't possibly enforce that or invade other people's medical privacy (despite rampaging through mine for months). The irony that followed a year or two later as COVID-19 put the entire f***ing world into my shoes is not lost on me.

Around this time my DSP application moved forward to 'medically approved'. I quit work and threw it all in December of that year, throwing myself and my family at the mercy of the welfare state. I had tried my best but it was unworkable. I am unemployable.

The Department of Health's processing of DSP claims is cruel, intentionally malevolent and severely impacted my mental health issues. My claim was left medically approved for months. The thing is that by law the Department must resolve a claim within 12 months or they get in trouble legally, its literally written into the legislation. Right before this 12 month period they decided (remember, its medically approved) to deny the claim based on a objectively untrue red tape triviality. This 'resolves' the claim and if I disagree with the decision then it is moved to 'appeal' status, effectively placing the claim into indefinite limbo. Speaking to them and literally weeping into the phone having burned through our savings I was told 'this is how it is'.

Everyone has a breaking point, and after this the black dog got me and I was briefly hospitalised and placed under watch by the local crew who do that when you are a danger to yourself. I lost many good friends (online and offline) over this period because I was deeply ill across the board. Most of my online social group of friends distanced themselves from me because I was mentally unwell.

With financial help from my in-laws (my own parents are objectively terrible human beings with hundreds of thousands net worth and refused to help at all) we got through it. With the help of a Centrelink insider who knew someone who had the power to fix it the DSP problem was resolved. We're now financially stable under the care of the State & enrolled in the NDIS.

After spending some time on myself I'm igniting my solo-developer MMO game project. I don't want to passively live off the welfare tit. I have talents and skills that I can still exploit, but I refuse to be exploited or harmed by others. I have brutally smashed my FB friends list and it felt good.

My social circle is tighter now, but I do know who my real peeps are. As I heal I feel like I've been reforged with a lot of cruft and mess removed from my life and mind. This is my MS story. It is dark and depressing as f***, but it has a happy ending, and it is mine.

* The names of the people and organisations are not mentioned because I don't want any drama, but all the above I would testify to under oath with absolute glee.
fpot
Posts: 27369
Location: Gold Coast, Queensland

It must be awful to have people you trusted turn on you like that. Especially after you have served them faithfully for so long. Glad it all turned out well for you in the end.

I hurt my neck quite badly in March and luckily my workplace helped me out. I was confined to the office for about 5 months and then allowed limited duties for a month before I was cleared for full duties again. They did get a bit impatient by the end but always treated me fairly. After reading your story I feel very lucky.
baz
Posts: 1350
Location: Victoria

Cant remember when you first made an impression on me but Ive always had a great amount of respect for your opinions.
I like people that can write with class and punctuate perfectly with crass.

All the best Hog.
Denominator
Posts: 994
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
Hogfather unfortunately what you experienced is normal. HR is the literally to protect the company.

HR may have told all of your colleague's not to say anything bad that would put the company in legal hot water. People like you, me and everyone here. Strive to do their best and sometimes that means they just won't say anything at all. Workmates are not like family however we spend a lot of time with them and sometimes forget that we are all a******s. (Saying workmates are like family is like saying I love your to a hooker)

I too have met the black dog and know that the fight back is a long road. I too had to change jobs because of it. I realised I don't have any friends and no social group since then. Life is now different on the other side and I don't think I will ever be the same. The best advice I got was to eat something green and exercise.

I decided to do things that make me happy.

To everyone else work to live not the other way around.
Hogfather
Posts: 17115
Location: Cairns, Queensland

I got up this morning and planned to edit out my big long whinge from yesterday. But it can stand, its my truth.

fpot & Denom: yeah it sucked. In particular the second appointment was ridiculous; the HR Manager who I had written software for in the past went on maternity leave basically as soon as I started. I keep going on about irony, is it ironic or just bad luck that I specifically sought out that organisation because she was HR Manager? Such a genuinely lovely lady to work with, I felt that I'd be better protected by fair and compassionate HR with her as HRM. Whoopsy daisy.

I didn't contact her about any of the issues through the year as I didn't feel it was fair or professional to seek support or backup when she was on leave with a beautiful first daughter. By the time she got back she had just enough time to watch me roll away riding the wheelie bin dumpster fire that was my career.

baz: Thanks dude, best of luck too!

Edit: Discord here for the game thing
E.T.
Posts: 5205
Location: Queensland

Hi Ryan! :p
Randobobdelme
Posts: 6497
Location:
Hoggy

For what its worth, not that it's worth much, I'm sorry about the MS.

`ViPER`
Posts: 4212
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
I do remember that job!

Unfortunately after you left they got a bit silly about paying invoices for maintenance so it all went a bit south.


Seems about right, Asia took over things and sometimes they just didnt understand how stuff was meant to be done.

The Department of Health's processing of DSP claims is cruel, intentionally malevolent and severely impacted my mental health issues. My claim was left medically approved for months. The thing is that by law the Department must resolve a claim within 12 months or they get in trouble legally, its literally written into the legislation. Right before this 12 month period they decided (remember, its medically approved) to deny the claim based on a objectively untrue red tape triviality. This 'resolves' the claim and if I disagree with the decision then it is moved to 'appeal' status, effectively placing the claim into indefinite limbo. Speaking to them and literally weeping into the phone having burned through our savings I was told 'this is how it is'.


I have a friend going through the same proccess and her experiences have been almost identical.

Multiple delays, getting denied for red tape reasons, appeals sitting on hold forever. Its a joke and something needs to be done about it.


last edited by `ViPER` at 12:20:31 02/Feb/21
trog
Posts: 40124
Location: Other International

Hogfather, really sorry to hear about your struggles. It gives me the absolute s***s when bureaucracy stops people from getting anything they need but it is especially outrageous when it interferes with healthcare. The situation at the workplaces is also terrible. I am glad you're moving out of the woods. Appreciate you making the post to make sure as many people are aware of these kinds of issues.
Reverend Evil
Posts: 22383
Location: Wynnum, Queensland

Hoggy. I thought your eLeaving post was November last year but here you are still. You filthy liar.

I haven't been here for quite some time and I decided to browse the forum for old times sake and I saw your post. Not sure what to say. Life sucks I guess?

Take care my friend.

Spook
Posts: 41557
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
rev!
Reverend Evil
Posts: 22384
Location: Wynnum, Queensland

Spookarama! How are you my old friend. It's been a while.
Spook
Posts: 41558
Location: Brisbane, Queensland
i have often wondered how you are fairing! I hope well mate!
TiT
Posts: 6654
Location: Brisbane, Queensland

Good luck mate!
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