Seems like bulls***, but pretty f***ing funny all the same.

Another bodybuilding.com thread.

hahahahah man the internet is awesome

hahahahah man the internet is awesome

can't pee while hard

its possible but really hard to do

get it

haha, those diagrams had me and wifey in stiches

Hmm reminds me, when I was in China I had this new girlfriend. I'd been out the night before and the combination of ridiculous amounts of booze plus being early in my trip and my stomach couldn't handle the food I'd woken up in the morning, ridiculous hang over needing a spew.

As I've gone to the toilet and started spewing I realised that I have explosive diarrhoea, my head is in the bowl so as I try to wip my ass around all I manage to do is spray about 2 metres a long and a metre high with liquid s***. I'm so hungover I just hop in the shower, dry off and decide to close the bathroom door and worry about it when I can do more than just s*** and spew basically.

Fast forward half an hour later there is a knock at the door, I think oh probably someone from the apartments or whatever, next thing my phone is ringing and it's this girl I've just started seeing, now I can here her knocking more loudly she's heard my phone. I creep up to the door hoping I can get away with just seeing her at the door and telling her I'm ill and come back.

No dice, she's got food for me cause she knew I was sick, f*** well hopefully she won't go in the toilet. I take my food back to bed eat it and go to sleep, basically it's my only play at this stage and I'm in no state to deal with it now.

I wake up and she has cleaned the entire bathroom of all my liquid s*** and for the 2 years we were together she never said a word. Asian GFs are pretty awesome...

My brain didnt even have to process the text for it to trigger uncontrollable laughter when i saw those MSpaint pics.

hahahahaha imitation you have just taken the awesome stories award away from thermite

that..

that was


and the MS paint!?

haha the mspaint pics are pretty awesome for lols

I wake up and she has cleaned the entire bathroom of all my liquid s*** and for the 2 years we were together she never said a word. Asian GFs are pretty awesome...

Just ... lol.

lols the pics were awesome.

I am still going to call fake

Who doesn't pre-pay. s*** before you go out places.

Hilarious drawings but.

haha awesome best one has to be heading to the bath tub

no way tequila, thermite's "i was raped once but then it turned out i fell hard on my a******" story is still the best one.

hahaha I'm lol irl haha people are giving me a funny look. epic thread thanks guys

if only he thought of sitting down, then leaning forward. its not like you can poo as fast as you pee.

of course if he was heavily overweight it might be harder.

there is actually a lot I've learnt from imit regarding storytelling, like putting on a deep manly voice when you quote yourself, and a high girly voice when you quote others

omfg laughing so hard it hurts!

nice story but have a look at his other threads. high chance of being bs.

A few months ago he posted his home made sex doll, I posted it here but the thread got deleted prolly cuz of insane traffic..

The pee bottle thing is he posted his home gym set up, and there were 2L bottles half full all over,when asked what it was he said "its piss." Hes too lazy to go upstairs to take a leak while working out so he just pees in bottles.

lolz

pee bottle
NSFW

I actually usually piss in empty water bottles because i'm too lazy to go up the washroom (that and because my morning dump is usually so massive that i need to let it sit in the water for a couple of hours to dissolve a bit otherwise i plug the can). I also bring empty bottles to school/work and pee in them and then dump the urine into the sink because i HATE using urinals/tiolets and getting all that gross pee/poo water splashing off of the bowl/urinal and onto my legs and ****...ICK!!

and more

if it is true he did it on purpose imo.

last edited by hast at 22:19:39 14/Dec/09

What the f*** does this dude piss in a bottle for?

sounds like the dude has a few too many points on the retard-o-meter.

The pee bottle thing is he posted his home gym set up, and there were 2L bottles half full all over,when asked what it was he said "its piss." Hes too lazy to go upstairs to take a leak while working out so he just pees in bottles.

I've known some lazy mother f***ers in my life .. but what the f***

I wake up and she has cleaned the entire bathroom of all my liquid s*** and for the 2 years we were together she never said a word. Asian GFs are pretty awesome...

No, proper women are awesome.

wait hardware are you saying asian women aren't proper women?
or a woman is only proper if she cleans up your ultras***spray?

I think he means women with backbones

hahahaha funniest s*** i seen in a while.

lol that guy's blog about his home gym is all kinds of messed up

there is actually a lot I've learnt from imit regarding storytelling, like putting on a deep manly voice when you quote yourself, and a high girly voice when you quote others

This is true

I think he means women with backbones

yah

what a newb

just hold a wad of toilet paper on the end of yer dong and go for it

also, remind me not to read any more bodybuilder bodily function anecdotes

i lol'd so hard insom

just hold a wad of toilet paper on the end of yer dong and go for it

f***ing what?

I have never lol'd so much in my life. Those pictures are genius. Genius.

skythra well i assume his usual peeing into a bottle routine wouldn't work upwards

holy s***, epic story. subbed.

his pee is always the same colour which means he is total fake but great at making stories...

I know I've been thinking about this a little too much..

But:

Who needs to s*** and piss, goes to a person's house and eats a full bowl of chinese? Surely you'd excuse yourself to use the bathroom to wash your hands and clean up before dinner. Especially if you were trying to make an impression.

I can't think of foods much worse than chinese to push your poop out quicker.

edit:

skythra well i assume his usual peeing into a bottle routine wouldn't work upwards

Read the second or third page, it has a PICTURE of a guy with a hardon peeing into a bottle.

That forum is f***ed.

last edited by skythra at 11:09:25 15/Dec/09

I don't think it's possible to get an erection while wanting to piss and s*** at the same time. There's just too much going on there to compute. Either way, a very well illustrated story and an eventful one at that too.

That forum is f***ed.

^

I have not laughed that hard in ages.

i reckon he gets off on telling the story

That forum is f***ed.

This.