http://www.fmylife.com/

I thought this would be an interesting diversion for the cruel and unusual among us ;)

By the way, I don't know if half the comments are real, but I don't care. This made me chuckle...

"Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML"

Yeh this site is pretty neat for a giggle now and then. Often you have to read through ten crap ones to find a funny one, but the funny ones are usually well worth it.

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the f*** up!". FML

hahahahahh!

Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML

It's like http://bash.org/ - kind of hard to tell what is bulls*** and what's not.

#207373 +(16946)- [X]
oh man
I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
and it exploded
ALMOST all over my keyboard
but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick f***ers)
:<

http://www.ubersite.com/m/121192

Yeah I check out Bash every now and then. Doesn't get many new ones these days but it's always good hitting random and finding a few old favorites.

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button.

Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I s*** my pants. I'm 17. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

lol

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home and I was calling bingo numbers. And one woman stood up and started making noises, I asusmed she had won and I started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

whats funnier is that tomorrow, your like, gonna be 40 or some s***. crusty old c***!

39, and how the f*** did you remember my birthday?

Also, this has happened to me!

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night. I was still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out she opens her eyes and says "Oh, it's you." Then gets up and walks out. FML.

edit:f***ing facebook...

last edited by Mantra at 14:10:01 24/Feb/09

last edited by Mantra at 14:11:22 24/Feb/09

Casa has a crush on you mantra.

That's not surprising. He finds my manly chin and penetrating wit fascinating...

Birthdays
See All
Today
Some c***s
Tomorrow
Denver Gibson

damn that facebook!

I pity that guy called Some c***s...

Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML

hahahaha

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week.

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers.