WOMAN’S DIARY ENTRY

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.

I’d been shopping in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.

He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn’t seem himself - he hardly laughed and didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying, I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in, he hesitated but followed.

I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed, I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply, he just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

He didn’t follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

I cried myself to sleep - I think he’s planning to leave me - maybe he’s found someone else.

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MAN’S DIARY ENTRY

Australia got beaten

Gutted.

Got a root though.

haha yer, that one still makes me laugh

Haha.

Lies, Real men dont keep Diaries.

what scooter says

i cant remember any jokes, people ask me to tell them some aussie jokes and my minds blank, this ones ok hopefully i can remember it

Lies, real men don't follow sport, they're too busy reading jokes on an internet gaming forum.

Oh wait.

phooks speaks the truth...
err gotta go, wife said its bed time :( /whip

Might get a root though.

Woman in labour, shouting and screaming as usual, "Get this out of me, give me drugs!". She turns to the boyfriend and says "You did this to me you f***er!". He replied casually, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said, 'f*** off it'll be too painful - now who's laughing?'"

haha, nice one

ah golden

I remember they told this 'story' at some sex ed lecture back in high school trying to show how guys/girls think differently about sex. All the girls gave a disapproving all-guys-are-arseholes *gasp* at the end lame

SAVED

Lie detector:

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.

Tommy was over 2 hours late.

'Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?' asked John.

'Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,' said Tommy.

The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

'Son,' said John, 'this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.'

'We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie.' said Tommy.

'What did you watch?' asked Marsha.

'The Ten Commandments.' answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, 'I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.'

'I am ashamed of you son,' said John. 'When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.'

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, 'Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!'

With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

that was s***

ahahahaha - keep them coming guys

i giggled.