received a funny email today

Cranky and the World's Hottest Burger, Off The Wall Diner, QLD, AU

Dear sweet arse-raping Jesus i will make this report VERY quick because just the memory of the burger is giving me bowel cramps.

First of all the burger in question can be found at the "Off The Wall Diner" at Wellington Point in Brisbane.

Secondly, before it gets served to you you have to put on rubber gloves.

Finally, it was not so much a meal as a physical assault.

I swear to god i have never been in so much pain in my life. i was mentally prepared for the burn and had decided that no matter how hot it turned out to be i was just going to open a can of "harden the f * ck up" and keep eating. So here's how it panned out...

4 of us head to Wellington Point around 2pm for a cruisy Saturday lunch. Me, Thommo and our two better halves.

We know that drinking beer won't help the burn, but just for psychological backup we have 2 6 packs of Little Creatures. We drink 1 6 pack on the way to the diner. We start on the other as soon as we arrive.

The 2 guys order the megadeath burgers to much laughter and derision from the kitchen of the diner. The 2 girls order sensible burgers.

We are downing the beer like water before we even see the burger so we run across the road and grab another 6 pack from the pub.

The girls burgers arrive and they are awesome hand made giant patty motherf * cking things and I'm starting to get REALLY hungry.

Our burgers arrive, with rubber gloves and a recovery kit consisting of a big drink of milk and a bowl of yogurt. The challenge remains that if we can finish the burger without resorting to the recovery kit we get our names on a plaque on the wall...

I start eating, and eating fast. I stick with my game plan and ignore the burn, just push through the pain.

2 things happen immediately to my body.

1. I get violent hiccups as my body tries to reject the molten lava i am putting into it.
2. I begin crying like a little girl.

Not to be discouraged I forge ahead, quickly shoveling the burger into my mouth. I begin to descend into my own little hell. Staff come out and are watching us eat and are egging us on. I can barely notice anything except the immense pain in my mouth, eyes, ears (yes my ears were ringing) but most importantly in my stomach...

And this is the problem.

The burning mouth, the crying, the ringing ears I can handle. But now with less than a third of the burger to go my stomach seizes up and refuses to let me put anything into it. I take a deep breath and look for my can of "harden the f * ck up" when I notice that my mate Thommo has stopped eating his burger just beyond the halfway point and is wandering aimlessly up and down the street.

He has honestly lost the plot and is walking around in circles.

I decide I can't be defeated and manage one more bite before my stomach explains at this point that it is about to return to me everything i have just eaten at high speed.

not being able to face the prospect of vomiting back something that hot i pull off my gloves and admit defeat with 2 mouthfuls to go. The staff can't believe I have got this close and not finished it but at this point i really don't give a f * ck because i have just started to hallucinate.

No exaggerations here for the next 15-20 minutes or so as we just sat there i was completely off my face. it is one of the strangest drug experiences I have ever had (thats a BIG call). The closest thing I can liken it to is the feeling you have when you are coming off an "e" and you are really jumpy, agitated, spun out and trippy.

Can i recommend this burger to anyone?

No f * cking way.

Should you go and try it anyway?

Absof * ckinglutely!

And about 2 days later...

it is now almost 48 hours later and i have just had my second shower for the morning.

second shower? why have 2?

because i am still s***ting white hot torrents of molten steel and i need to cool down my puckered, torn and abraded sphincter before it decides to go all "china syndrome" and melt through the crust of the earth to the core.

i swear to god all i have eaten in the past couple of days since the "event" is stomach and anus friendly food like yoghurt, and ham and salad rolls and yet here i am at 6am on monday morning wondering why i have just been fisted by someone with a handful of broken glass and gravel?

the burger was evil. and it's evilness continues to taunt my bunghole.

shame on you for wanting to try this boobmeister. shame.

... and finally, a few days after that...

lol thanks for your concern f * cker

it lasted until tuesday night (i had the burger on saturday lunchtime) and i had my first *normal* crap on wednesday morning.

my mate i went who also tried the burger with came good on tuesday morning, but he admitted by "good" he meant he wasn't bleeding profusely from his anus and eyeballs at the same time.

that burger was all f * cked up.

now go try it.

i love hot food, and this is local.

anyone tried it?

http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/article.php/20070113-Hottest_Burger_in_the_World

Hi Cerb!

sounds interesting

I lol'd but I'm not big on spicy food

Hi Cerb!

haha, for a change it's not me pimping out supersizedmeals.com

i never used to be into hot food, but ive discovered (through my love of indian food) that i now do like it hot:

we work with an indian guy who works for an indian restaurant by nite and he brings in food for us to eat

he bought me his indian triple hot sauce on my indian hot beef vindaloo and i made short work of it (did suffer a bit the next day)

i reckon i could give this burger a shot, but i am a little worried about the aftermath .. . . .

i work at wellington point. madness, i will check it out.

i wonder how it compares to the vindaloo down on the strip at capalaba?

last edited by infi at 15:59:31 02/Jul/08

I too like my incredibly hot food. It servers two purposes; It tastes great and hardly anyone else wants a bite.

I want to see how hot it is, only I'm not a big eater so I probably wouldn't be able to finish it even if it wasn't hot :(

sounds like an advertising email

i reckon i could give this burger a shot, but i am a little worried about the aftermath .. . .

It wouldn't be worth the ring sting you get next day.

all the guys at work went to this place. when the burgers came out, their eyes started to well and one lost his voice. most spent all night in the shower apparently & drinking milk. quite amusing really.

Any of them get through it ?

no i don't think so, but one came pretty damn close.
there was a half way, 3/4s , one guy only managed 1 bite.

They took this burger off the menu cuz of the drama's it was causing to people. But there is no way in f*** I would try that megadeath sauce.

So what is on the burger thats hot, just the sauce?

yup:

old mate at work ordered some of the megadeath source today after i showed him the story

theres a chicken wing place on merthyr road down in new farm that does some smoking hot wings
I think if you eat the whole plate they're free, some kind of gimmick like that

I tried, too hot

from my understanding, everything was laced in chilli, the burger patty, the sauce, the bun.. it was just chilli everything.

we had a bottle of the megadeath sauce (from there) in the fridge at work. a few drops for a bit of a kick :)

there is also a shop in cleveland called the big mushroom that sells that chilli willi sauce. from mild to 10/10 hotness. the "habanaro liquid fire" sauce is good. :) (its only a name.. ;) )

wow, my bosses site made it to QGL! :P

While obviously no comparison to that burger, this thread reminds me of the Chili Quarter Pounder! I loved that burger so, best burger McDonald's ever made...

While obviously no comparison to this burger, this thread reminds me of the Chili Quarter Pounder! I loved that burger so, best burger ever made by McDonald's...

would have been good if it was hot tho.

pff..

$ack = works for supersizedmeals owners?

i know some guys that finished it. one of them was crapping blood afterwards. lol.

I think I'd pass on any food that caused internal injuries.

Why on earth would you want to eat something that insaaaanely hot

That burger or Blairs Megadeath Sauce has NOTHING at all on Blairs ultimate creation.

http://www.hotsauceblog.com/hotsaucearchives/blairs-16-million-product-review/

Blairs 16 million reserve, the HOTTEST thing ever created, it's PURE capsaicin (the "hot" chemical)... comes in a tiny vial.

It's rated 16,000,000 on the scoville scale, in contrast here are some other hot things

2,500–8,000 Jalapeño Pepper
100,000–350,000 Habanero chili
2,000,000–5,300,000 Standard U.S. Grade pepper spray

Cool blog.

I'd love to see a Steve-O related stunt with that stuff.

f*** yeah im so going to try this bad ass f***er with some mates! it better be as bad as he said or ill talk him into the next qgl lan (*cough* next year) and bash him.

$ack = works for supersizedmeals owners?

$ack gets worked by the supersized meal owner



oh billy, when will you stop eating retarded s***?

theres a chicken wing place on merthyr road down in new farm that does some smoking hot wings
I think if you eat the whole plate they're free, some kind of gimmick like that

I tried, too hot

No gimmick at all - I go there with mates all the time and one of them always gets the hot ones. I get the middle ones which are the best.

No gimmick at all - I go there with mates all the time and one of them always gets the hot ones. I get the middle ones which are the best.

is this Blue Smoke? If so the medium ones are quite hot for medium....I normally order medium Indian food and find it isn't spicy enough but too scared to order hot....but I found these wings to be f***in hot.

i think you will find that just about all indian food places are scared to serve whiteys hot food

i got tired of asking for hot vindaloos and them not being hot at all, even after asking for "indian" hot

If you're ever in Coffs Harbour, head to the Tandoori Oven near the Jetty. My girlfriend's uncle owns it. They make some of the best Indian food I've ever tasted, and they'll happily serve you "Indian hot" food.

i don't see the point.

i like hot food a lot but when it gets to the stage when the sauce is unpleasant to eat, why do it?

seems like a big wank fest

That's when you know you're really alive!

i don't see the point.

i like hot food a lot but when it gets to the stage when the sauce is unpleasant to eat, why do it?

seems like a big wank fest

no .. that's not advisable. Wash your hands first!

i lolled at the story. lols

I've tried Blue Smoke, didn't really like the food there, especially the ribs..

here's the latest attempt (with video!)
http://www.supersizedmeals.com/food/article.php/20080707-Mitch_Worlds_Hottest_Burger
(background music is perhaps NSFW)

pretty scary how quick it kicks in (but funny! :D)

last edited by cerb at 09:50:55 08/Jul/08

bahahahahaha looks like he's tripping.. pass on this.

we bought a bottle of that sauce last year maybe the year before. its f***ing hot. i like hot stuff but this is stuff is just wrong.

I went to "a night in india" in toowong the other night after reading good reviews here. I spoke to the indian waiter there about what's "hot".

He said their hot was 2 spoons of curry powder, indian hot was called 'action' and was 5 spoons, and they get people coming in ordering triple action which is 15 spoons. He said it was s*** though as the whole bowl is just spice and you don't get any flavour, and he orders medium himself.

I had the normal hot and it was a bit too hot for me.

I find the medium wings at blue smoke to be just right but they vary from week to week and are sometimes very hot and sometimes not hot at all.

http://www.deathsauce.com.au

Knock yourself out on the macho dick thing. I like it hot but I'll pass on the burning bum wees.

A Night in India is the bestest evar

had that on friday night

Hmmm, a night in India hey? May have to try it some time...

Don't like my curries too hot, normally mild to medium, but I don't feel a good curry *has* to be hot.

Knock yourself out on the macho dick thing. I like it hot but I'll pass on the burning bum wees.

hehe

also agent 99, your name irl is hawt, if i were a chick, id want your name

Is "A Night in India" like "A Night in Paris"?

also agent 99, your name irl is hawt, if i were a chick, id want your name

Well thankyou Spook :). You do know it is apparently the female version of the name "David"...

do tell!

yeah it's pretty bloody good, i've eaten from many indian places and none of them are as good. not of the ones i've had anyway

my usual indian joints are punjabi's at westend

or

kumas cafe at coopers plains which totally kicks ass:

kuma is the rock star type of indian (big hair, ALWAYS black shirt, lots of gold jewerly, is super nice and his food is always the best)

the hot from kumars is actually pretty hot:

mantis:- kinda, it involves more hair.

you obviously haven't been to a night in india spook

srsly try it

they need better locations

If ur on the northside, sitar in albion has pretty decent quality curries goin on. BYO too which is s definate key to success.

a night in india is ok, but it's no southern spice - even post-bj

I remember there was a post on here ages ago about someone mentioning a place witha genuine clay tandoori oven or something, the only one in bris. Wesside somewhere. Searched but couldn't find the post - anyone know what im talking about?

heh, best indian i've had was in a hindi restaurant in calcutta. northwest indian curries are where it's at. the further south you go the hotter they get... by madras i could no longer eat vindaloos coz all i could taste was burning pain.

the whole macho 'i like it hawwwt!@!#' is just stupid... it's just what you are used to... indian kids wolf down curries that would make me lose consciousness :P

i love sitar as much as the next man - problem is i found out they cook their curries at head office then send and reheat them at the resteraunts :(

haha i knew sitar was s***

i've been to the one cooparoo and it was complete rubbish, powdery crap

A friend of mine has an interesting story involving Sitar and small furry animals...

oh pray thou art do tell?

a place witha genuine clay tandoori oven or something

curry connection at st lucia has one

possibly the place u were thinking of

i love sitar as much as the next man - problem is i found out they cook their curries at head office then send and reheat them at the resteraunts :(

my wife makes nice curries, and they're even nicer the next night after they've soaked into the meat overnight

I would guess that if that practice you've described is true, the curries would be nicer than if they had just been cooked right before they were served

I got all excited thinking it was some fur burger but sadly no :( But the thought of a mega hot burger and days of hot sloppy farts sounds good to me. Nothing beats the look on peoples faces as they walk into my own personal WMD zone.

the sitar franchise (coorparoo) has got nothing on sultans over the road :] omg the naan !

except i have still had the unluckiness of munching down on a goddamn CLOVE from both restraunts. why the f*** do they allow such a disgusting thing to float around in such nice food. bite down and bam you have a clusterbomb of f***ing gross seeds and stuff instead of tasty butterchicken. and the taste wont go away and spoils further enjoyment @#$#$!

last edited by scooby at 17:52:40 08/Jul/08

Always been sus about Indian, but I just can't eat it now since Gordon Ramsay

mmm cloves

lol thats hilarious

i love sitar as much as the next man - problem is i found out they cook their curries at head office then send and reheat them at the resteraunts :(

As Jim said, there is nothing wrong with this.

Except for ppl who are unaware that they're already buying reheated food, and then reheat leftovers the next day...

haha scooby

butter chicken, you're doing it wrong

Paveway, your mum's doing it wrong, and *she* has a hot burger.

Except for ppl who are unaware that they're already buying reheated food, and then reheat leftovers the next day...

come off it

Except for ppl who are unaware that they're already buying reheated food, and then reheat leftovers the next day...

beaten but yea, salmonella salmonella!

agent 99 = davina?

Except for ppl who are unaware that they're already buying reheated food, and then reheat leftovers the next day...

beaten but yea, salmonella salmonella!

How does this increase the risk of food poisoning?

agent 99 = Dianavid

It's fine if you reheat it to the right temperature, but otherwise bacteria and viruses etc that can grow in food will either just survive the heat, or will flourish. The food service information council say "Food needs to be reheated to a minimum of 75 degrees Celsius or 70 degrees Celsius for two minutes to kill any bacteria or viruses that might be present in the food. If you are reheating food in a microwave, you need to be especially careful that the food is heated evenly.

Food heated in a microwave oven does not heat uniformly and unwanted germs may survive in portions of poorly heated food."

Viruses grow in food now do they?

You're an idiot :)

Hahahahaha, viruses growing on cooked food. Unless you're doing it wrong and leaving stuff still living there, then that's not a big problem.

some things like rice your only suppose to reheat once. By reheating any type of food multiple times your increasing the chance of getting food poisoning because the food is at risk of being stored incorrectly or as Minxy said reheated incorrectly. If food is left to cool at room temperature and then put in the fridge it may be contaminated then not reheating for correct amount of time evenly will not eliminate bacteria just make the conditions better for it to thrive in.

this my understanding anyway

http://www.deathsauce.com.au/megadeath.html


Like any supermarket will sell it!

I go to North Melbourne to buy mine.

You can also eat it on ICE CREAM!

http://members.iinet.net.au/~davidbroughton/megadeath.jpg

bring on fridays IT morning tea!!!!!!

except i have still had the unluckiness of munching down on a goddamn CLOVE from both restraunts. why the f*** do they allow such a disgusting thing to float around in such nice food. bite down and bam you have a clusterbomb of f***ing gross seeds and stuff instead of tasty butterchicken. and the taste wont go away and spoils further enjoyment @#$#$!

Are they those massive seed things?
If so they are f***ING GROSS, and definately puts me off the rest of it.

whoa

Cloves can be irritating to the gastrointestinal tract, and should be avoided by people with gastric ulcers, colitis, or irritable bowel syndrome. In overdoses, cloves can cause vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, and upper gastrointestinal hemorrhage.[citation needed] Severe cases can lead to changes in liver function, dyspnea, loss of consciousness, hallucination, and even death.[8] The internal use of the essential oil should be restricted to 3 drops per day for an adult as excessive use can cause severe kidney damage.[citation needed]

i agree cafe kumas over at coopers plains rocks. we have been goin there since he started like 7-8 years ago and never lets us down for super hot real man indian hot curries.. bring on the super hot vindaloo madras and korma. tasty!

I used to eat there when I lived over that way too. Nice guy, can't really compare his food to the good Indian places in Brisbane. But value for money it's pretty good :)

had a teaspoon full of megadeath sauce to test it out

yer, its hot

Are they those massive seed things?
If so they are f***ING GROSS, and definately puts me off the rest of it.

You're probably thinking of cardamom, it's in pretty much all indian food.

Tasty as a whole spice for the dish, but you're not supposed to eat it.

http://unitproj1.library.ucla.edu/biomed/spice/images/CARDAMOM.jpg

Yeh I went to this pretty good curry slophaus at West End a few months ago. I think it was called Punjabby Place or something!?

Anyways went to this b'day piss up party or something for this chick who had a head like a flyblown arsehole but had hot friends so ..u know meh.

In the 'partay' group was this dude who was a 'vegie' i.e 'I dont want to eat animals' and all that crap, wanting to order all vegie curry etc etc giving the waiters the s***z (not literally not yet anyway). These poor buggerz were giving this hippy c*** the Marharaja Death Starez and looked as though they wanted to go all 'Like a Tigerrrr' on this Vegie's arse. Cant blame them really cuz the place was packed tighter than a bogan's bong.

I ordered the Buttered Chicken Curry and Rice, twas tops.

Some bacteria can exist in several forms, generally a viable growth form and a dormant protective form. They switch from one to the other when the environment suits and if they have the ability to do so.

When you nuke your food it kills off most of the growing/non-dormant types of bacteria. However upon cooling down it may produce an environment that signals the dormant bacteria to shed its protection and start growing again. When you heat it up the environment changes again and it goes dormant. Continue this cycle a few times and you kill of all the easy to kill bacteria and allow the tough stuff to grow and since it has no competition from the weaksauce bacteria it can grow quickly.

Generally to get infected and suffer from a bacteria you need a certain amount of it, a few individual bacteria won't get you sick, several thousands though may.

harden the f*** up and eat it.

my roommate is ordering this, then making bets with ppl at work that they can't hack it. lol. almost twice as hot as that megadeath sauce.

Yeh I went to this pretty good curry slophaus at West End a few months ago. I think it was called Punjabby Place or something!?

Yeah, I've heard that place is good. Have still to go there myself sometime. BTW it's Punjabi Palace.

pfft.

schezerade in kenmore.

my parents and me and the missus went there, f***ing rocks. best indian food ever. Awesome authentic curries from north and south india and a couple from sri lanka with really good amounts of meat in it. my parents said it was more authentic than a night in india, which they liked too.

ceylon inn in graceville used to be good, but the service there wasnt the best.

all you posers, you see me rollin, you be hatin. Lankan fo lyfe.

ok, it seems like megadeath is for pansy's

http://www.chez-williams.com/Hot%20Sauce/hothome.htm

^^^ LOL, I just read through the names of those sauces. "Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally ... Chets Gone Mad **" Wins it just for the name. I'd buy it !!!

http://video.msn.com/?mkt=en-au&brand=ninemsn&tab=m164&mediaid=202234&from=39&vid=C3C7463F-E7CA-42C0-92B1-7819D616AFB5&playlist=videoByTag:mk:en-AU:vs:0:tag:aunews_auaca:ns:MSNVideo_Top_Cat:ps:10:sd:-1:ind:1:ff:8A

hahahaha i wish they made the female news reporter eat the entire thing.. 7 bites what a embarrising attempt.. especially on tv

who in their right mind would go through that. f*** me.

I clicked the video and all I got was some guy talking about sport.

must b that anti-gays filter they have running fpot... unlucky

^^^ hahahahaha...

Yeah that was really hilarious.