I was out in the backyard enjoying some springtime sun when out of nowhere came the unmistakable "clack" of a magpie's beak as it skimmed past my head.
I don't think there's a true blue Aussie alive who hasn't been swooped at least once in their life, but I have never been attacked in my own backyard before.
I rang the council expecting there to be some sort of magpie-removal unit that could take care of business for me. I was redirected to the EPA who informed me that magpie removal is only done in public property areas eg parks, footpaths etc. If the magpie lives on a private property, you have to pay a bird catcher. What's more, the bloke I rang wanted to charge me $275 to get rid of the winged menace. $275? Do I get it stuffed with a certificate of authenticity? I could buy a rifle for that.
I don't want to injure or kill the birds. As anoying as it is not to be able to go outside your back door, I know they are just protecting their babies. Someone suggested feeding them, so that they get to know you and see you as their friend. Apparently they are smart birds, recognising individuals and targetting specific people (don't ask me how they know this).
Other than wearing an ice-cream container on my head for a few months I don't know what to do.
Stupid nature.

Feed them mince. Get some cheap s*** mince from woolies or somewhere, pack it into little bags and each day feed them. Works with butcher birds and possums.

^- Eds forgot to say pack it with rat sack.

^^ i was going to say poison too.

First time I've heard of someone getting swooped in their own yard. Normally see posties or people riding pushbikes getting done on the footpath.

I reckon if you're gonna be stuck with them you should go the feeding option. Would be cool having magpies guarding the house.

they're a native bird you c***s ... would you feed poisoned meat to aborigines?

really want me to answer that?

Why waste good meat? Just feed them poisioned metho instead.

Yeah I think feeding them is the go. We have dogs too so I guess I'll have to place the mince up high somewhere.
Bloke next door hangs his washing out every Saturday morning and he is gonna get swooped fo sho'.
Can't wait.

In the last two weeks, I've been hit by three magpies in the head while riding. The second time I fully expected to take off my helmet and find feathers stuck in the vents. I've also had one dog snap at my wheels (last night), one wombat dart out in front of me (also last night), one kangaroo involved in a near miss by a training buddy (again, last night), and two mallards try to pick a fight with my bike and quack abuse while riding past.

And there's about 18 Cockatoos have decided to take up residence in our street.

haha

if you want people to crap their dacks at about this time every year, tell them there is a aggressive maggie in the area. then a short while later walk behind them and flap your hat above their head. brown trousers every time lawl

last edited by StreX at 16:09:32 13/Sep/07

haha stinky

I could buy a rifle for that

haha

I just chuck bread out for them. The crows eat it too but meh.

You feed them for a few weeks/months outside magpie season and come September/October they won't attack you anymore.

I thought this was common sense?

wear a hat

I was in Mackay once and they had Magpie traps (basically a steel cage that magpies are lured into and then it shuts on them). Well I came across one with a Magpie in it, and I felt sorry for the Magpie and it's babies so I let it go.

A Magpie hasn't attacked me since. I am one with the Magpies.

feed them and make em your mates.. we used to have a family at our old place and they loved us by the end of it.. prob would of given the new people s*** for not feeding them :)

fpot just cursed himself to Death by Ironic Magpie Assault

Feed them, then train them to become your unholy army!

I have never been attacked by a magpie or 'wild' bird.

Is it luck?

I haven't been attacked by a magpie in over 10 years.

Always get swooped by Plovers though, they always make nests in our backyard, good fun.

I have never been attacked by a magpie or 'wild' bird.

Is it luck?

you need to go outside more and stop posting on the internets.

i used to get swooped by magpies, butcher birds & plovers every spring on my pushy ride to school when i was a kid. my primary solution was to carry a squash racket n smack em out out of the sky... but local bird kissers complained to my parents about me so i just started wearing a hat. at worst they might knock yur hat off n ya gotta ride back n get it. these were pre-helmet laws days of course.

last time I got magpie'd the little f***er actually hit me with his beak behind my ear enough so that I started bleeding - I hadn't had a tetanus shot for ages so I had to go and get one.

In conclusion, I hate magpies.

I hate Collingwood too. In summary, they carry diseases.

I've never been swooped either *touches wood*
I'm dead set scared as well. I've had a bat swoop at me, didnt connect, that wasn't a very pleasent experience.

I have never been attacked by a magpie or 'wild' bird.

Is it luck?

You often see wild birds peacefully sitting on the backs of rhinos, hippopotamus and elephants.

Is it coincidence?

precisley nF. ticks and fleas are an ample source of protien. why bite the hand that feeds you?

you need to go outside more and stop posting on the internets.

I go outside far too often as it is

Never been swooped at by magpies, but I've had my fair share of attacks from willie wagtails. I remember ignoring one as it swooped at me when I'd walk home from high-school, because it never actually hit me. One day, it got the s***s and actually started wacking me and grabbing/pulling my hair. Freaked the f*** outta me.

They're still cute though.

I once tried to rescue a magpie which had fallen from its nest (I was 10), we took it home and wrapped it in a towel, it tried to fly from the house over the back fence.

it hit the fence, snapped its neck and slid down the fence where it lay lifeless until dad buried it.
let this be a lesson to you kids, never try to help a distressed animal.

I just got swooped twice this morning on the back staircase. Next time the nigga tries that s*** I'm gonna ice the muthaf***er.

Forget magpies, watch out for dogs

this is completly off topic, but last night i was at the pub talking to a new guy from work, turns out not only was he from Brisbane, but he knew of kat and had seen all her naked pics on the internet!

What are the chances?! small world hey.

Also there are no birds that swoop you in London, though you do have a pretty high chance of getting rolled by some gangsters.

s***..when i saw the title i thought this thread was about the Collywobbles beating west coast!!!!
thank god it's about birds cause everyone hates Collywog!!!!

this is completly off topic, but last night i was at the pub talking to a new guy from work, turns out not only was he from Brisbane, but he knew of kat and had seen all her naked pics on the internet!

What are the chances?! small world hey.

You think that's strange, there's a methamphetamine user on a infamous drug information forum on the net that post Kat pics and claims its herself.

Nah that was Kat.

Would be funny if it was :)

Pretty weird though, when/where would a random drug user obtain Kat.zip? Why would they post pictures up and assume her identity? Very strange indeed.

methamphetamine = ice right? I've seen some people do crazy things on that stuff.

Chub, you realise kat wasnt a qgl phenomenom?
There were a couple of other huge forums she did her thing on.

orly?

I'll have a look through the drug users posts and see if it's Kat :)

EDIT:

Got them up, it's definetely Kat, has the tie on and blue swimmers. The chick is apparently in retail sales in Melbourne though but posts in a lot of threads about her children... hmmmm.

All the heroin and cocaine users say you got nice tits in all your pictures but are sick of it and want to see your snatch.

last edited by CHUB at 22:28:20 15/Sep/07

yeah i was riding a bike today and i had the helmet on but the f***in magpie got my ear - ouch

aren't their babies up in the trees where i obviously can't get them

stupid nature

and i'm never bribing them with food, i like the squash racquet idea better

sorry to change the topic btw

You think that's strange, there's a methamphetamine user on a infamous drug information forum on the net that post Kat pics and claims its herself.

No, that isn't me, my pictures, but not me. Bluesomethingorother is their nick.

They aren't the first person to claim my pictures are them.

A lot of Brisbane people have moved to the UK. Just how did my name come up in conversation I wonder?!?!?!

last edited by Kat at 20:03:08 16/Sep/07

we're into the prelim, go magpies!

f*** those black and white c***s

No need, I think the Cats will do that quite nicely.

Cats v Port final, Cats to win it in a thriller.

Roos will smash Port

nah, geelong port final

young pies have done well to get this far

roos have got nothing, port will smash them

and judd to go to the blues!

What a f***ed week for football :(