A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?" 15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand.

The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.

The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."

The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said, 'Goats'!"




Monday, two boys were in court after doing their community service for vandalism charges, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd boy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used a similar approach. (draws two circles) I said (pointing to small circle) this is your arsehole before prison..... and (pointing to the large circle) this is your arsehole after prison.




What Are They Thinking?
At the exact same time there are two young men on opposite sides of the Earth. One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers. The other is receiving oral sex from a 98 year old woman.

They are both thinking to themselves the exact same thing. What are they both thinking?

The answer is below, but think about it first.
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Don't look down

Haha great work.

not bad, but where's the spoot ?

^You have the internet, use it. And great jokes bean.