Just wanted to know what you guys would say ( hypothetically of course) if you were to take a sickday, say for aruments sake, tomorrow?
It's not that I am going to use it, it's strictly research.
I have heard all the usual illnesses/ injuries, I've got my period, my dick is stuck in my zipper etc. I was thinking more along the lines of some sort of crisis.

Got a headache.

Gold, I know.

"Hey boss, I'm not feeling well today, I'm going to stay home"

He won't care since I am not a slack f*** worker who takes sickies all the time for no reason.

Cancer

diarrhea

no one wants to talk about diarrhea

but yes what shad said is true as well

Well I've been on a sickie for 2 months now and should still be off for another 2 months. My manager thinks I'm putting it on, even though I'm having surgery in two weeks.

Yeh I have them so rarely that I just text and say I'm sick see you tomorrow. I've only ever had sickies when I've been rough from some midweek bender and once when I ate some bad mushrooms.

Yeah I haven't had a sick day for over a year, mainly because I have such a guilty conscience.
If I were to take one tomorrow it would probably be because I have a visitor who I haven't seen for a long time and we would probably be about to go out for a few, hypothetically of course.

Sausage roll in the eye.

Family emergency, just leave it at that and they probably won't care you don't have a doctors note etc.

bad kebab

Well I don't throw sickies, but a couple times I've not been able to tell them why I can't come so I've had to go with "I'm not coming."

stress leave; may be bisexual

yeah never had to have an excuse before, just I won't be able to go in, have organised with 2IC as to what is happening tomorrow and what I expect, and I can catch up on blah on blah, blah day.

"Hey boss, I'm not feeling well today, I'm going to stay home"

He won't care since I am not a slack f*** worker who takes sickies all the time for no reason.

Same for me. I usually make it a bit more fun, like "Hey boss, I can't come out to play today."

"CBF getting up. Reading a book. You'll survive without me."

dont turn up for 2 days, say you got busted for an outstanding parking fine. had to spend a night in the lock up and then wait for a magistrate the next morning. Used your one call (which is true, u get one call) to call you mate to bail you out.

yeah i think i've chucked 2 sickies in the 3.5 years i've worked where i am, just said i'm sick and i haven't had to put on a sick voice because both times i was so ridiculously hung over it wasn't funny (or worth going in)

Went out for dinner and ended up with a slight case of food poisoning is probably the easiest one if you want a one off. Unfortunately these days I can't afford to have any time off even if I am sick, worst case i work from home.

I take one in a blue moon but we loose our bonus for taking one. I just rock up the next day and if no one has noticed me gone I rewind the time clock machine and punch in yesterdays times. Easy....

i've had people ring me and say they can't come in, and TBH you _always_ know when someone is giving you a bulls*** excuse, just say that you cannot be f***ed/don't want to/ whatever the reason

Misses is in bed with a wog.....


and I don't know whether to get him out or join them....

i email my boss because i refuse to talk to him

"I can't make it to work cuz I'm at f***ing threadbo"

It's coming out from both ends.

pretty much what shad said.
"Hey, not coming in today, feeling crook"

"Not coming in, feeling sick"

I rarely take them that nobody questions it.

Eyes are burning, taking drugs to sleep.

See ya in a week.

Just an SMS saying I'm not feeling well, so I'm not coming in. Pretty much what Shad said.

While this isn't work, I once had a guy say this mid wow raid; "BRB wife has breast cancer".


He never came back, ever, which was strange because the guy hadn't missed a raid in 2 years.

My dog ate my home work

then died.

Don't need an excuse with my boss, tell him I'm having a sick day, then take a sick day.

Even easier if I have to tell the supervisor, because I email him, then ~4 days later when he actually turns up in amongst his Family/Sick/Annual/What-the-f***-i'm-having-the-day-off-anyway leave it's past the point that he would care.

I dont generally take sick days though, RDO every 2 weeks takes care of most of the things I would need a sick day for. And If I dont take any, I get a fat pay-out at the end of the year.

I just tell em I'll log in from home and work when needed :P ... they know it's usually drinking related as to my not being at work.

ive never chucked a sickie.

sc2 out need to get some strats worked out before weekend noob rush

When I was on the dole after uni I was doing those f***ing classes centrelink makes you do, and they rang me up one time to ask why I hadn't come in, and I was on Daydream Island, so I told them that. LOL.

i've had people ring me and say they can't come in, and TBH you _always_ know when someone is giving you a bulls*** excuse, just say that you cannot be f***ed/don't want to/ whatever the reason

Mental health day. Best excuse for when you can't be f***ed to go to work.

We have this old cankle monster at work who complains about others taking time off, holidays or sick days, but expects no one to complain when she takes time off.

I did my shoulder at work a few months back and had to take three days off. She cracked it at our manager about it but got shot down when she said "Didn't you just get back from having time off yourself?".

Now I ring up and say my should is playing up. Only used it once though as Id rather be at work doing something.

i've had people ring me and say they can't come in, and TBH you _always_ know when someone is giving you a bulls*** excuse, just say that you cannot be f***ed/don't want to/ whatever the reason

At the expense of getting fired from your job? Yeah right.

last edited by MatchFixah at 21:44:36 29/Jul/10

tell him you're pregnant, extra points if you're a guy and your boss buys it as an excuse.

Just tell him your sick...

When he asks how sick you are, tell him your in bed with your sister...

Just ring and say you can't come in as you're stressed out after you recieved the results of a HIV/STD test and that you just couldn't face *insert some managers name here*

ive never chucked a sickie.

Not only have I never chucked a sickie, I don't remember ever having stayed home *sick*. I've had to go and have surgery and stuff like that, but I've never taken a day off for a cold or feeling ill or whatever either.

Call me ol' iron-guts Pinky.

Sorry boss, can't come to work tomorrow, I have to take the wife to see the elders to have her genitals mutilated.

we never have to give reasons. we just ring up say our name, what type of leave (sick,parental,carers etc etc) and what time our shift starts.
but im just a s*** kicker so my job isn't that important.

I'm suffering from a severe case of cantbef***editus... my boss is pretty laid back though im regularly late to work and quite often have extra 30 mins lunch, the other day she tried to scold me for having extra 30 mins, then the next day she had extra 30 mins with two other staff members so i sent her a nice email with a screen shot of our time management software (proof) saying "So i suppose you guys are gonna have a 30 min lunch tomorrow or should i just have a 1 hour lunch today?"

Needless to say i still had a 1 hour lunch ;)

I'd sack you on the spot for that kind of passive aggressive disrespect, DISCIPLINE!

ive never chucked a sickie.

Not only have I never chucked a sickie, I don't remember ever having stayed home *sick*. I've had to go and have surgery and stuff like that, but I've never taken a day off for a cold or feeling ill or whatever either. Call me ol' iron-guts Pinky.

It's people like this that think they are hero's for coming to work and making everyone else crook. If i was a boss, i'd rather lose 1 bloke for 3 days while he gets over the flu, than half a dozen of my workers who have been infected "ol iron guts"...
So if your crook, just stay home...

It's people like this that think they are hero's for coming to work and making everyone else crook. If i was a boss, i'd rather lose 1 bloke for 3 days while he gets over the flu, than half a dozen of my workers who have been infected "ol iron guts"...
So if your crook, just stay home...

totally agree 100%

i f***ing hate when people come to work sick as f*** with a flu or whatever, it s***s me to no end

and i tell people to f*** off when they give me s*** about staying home with a cold/flu

my mrs boss despises when her staff take sickies, to the point where she calls them into a meeting to 'discuss' their sick days - ie to discourage them
she usually says "well, we come to work still when we're sick"

f*** that, stay home so you dont infect everyone else

I called in sick on Wednesday, had a temp of 39.6 degrees and felt generally s***house, turns out i've got pneumonia
my boss called me a big girl and said "alright i'll see you in a week!"

he's pretty cool like that

turns out you've smoked too many bongs.

"sorry but I got drunk at dinner and a movie then stood for too long in the iphone4 queue to make it in today"

I just tell them that I wont be able to make it into work. They don't need to know why, unless it is going to be more then a day.
Mainly because it is peer's that answer the phone, if it was the manager then I'd say why. As far as I'm concerned only the manager/supervisor has a reason to know why.

They don't need to know why, unless it is going to be more then a day

agreed.

It's people like this that think they are hero's for coming to work and making everyone else crook. If i was a boss, i'd rather lose 1 bloke for 3 days while he gets over the flu, than half a dozen of my workers who have been infected "ol iron guts"...
So if your crook, just stay home...

totally agree 100%

i f***ing hate when people come to work sick as f*** with a flu or whatever, it s***s me to no end

and i tell people to f*** off when they give me s*** about staying home with a cold/flu

Agreed, I'm staying home from work right now with flu and a throat infection so getting a kick out of these replies.
They can probably do without me for a few days but if I drag myself into the office and cough my guts out all over 3 other blokes I wouldn't be doing anybody a favour.

Even though it's legit, but does look a bit sus that I disappeared the day Starcraft 2 was released... :(

I chucked a sickie once, and went to Singapore to see my brother for 4 days. I would have worked over the weekend.

Agreed, I'm staying home from work right now with flu and a throat infection so getting a kick out of these replies.
They can probably do without me for a few days but if I drag myself into the office and cough my guts out all over 3 other blokes I wouldn't be doing anybody a favour.

Even though it's legit, but does look a bit sus that I disappeared the day Starcraft 2 was released... :(

This hate for coming to work sick with the flu would be justified if people knew the f***ing difference between a cold and the flu. Most people don't, so educate yourselves:
The common cold is primarily casued by rhinoviruses and coronavirusesby. It doesn't really make you all that sick, most of the time it's just a sore throat and a runny nose.
The Flu is caused by the influenza virus. This mofo is what puts you in bed. Symptoms are sometimes similar to the common cold but if it's the new seasonal virus you'll probably be in bed.

last edited by greazy at 10:11:49 30/Jul/10

Have an eye problem can't see myself coming in

50cm of pow dropped last night that is all

regardless of which one it is, no one wants either

they are both contagious

Tell 'em you just had a Vasectomy and you don't want to tear your sack open.

paveway is right

f*** c***s who come into work sick as to try and seem like they're dedicated
they are stupid selfish pricks who i hate with a passion and want to punch
you're not a hero, you're a selfish f***wit who should f*** OFF

Have an eye problem can't see myself coming in

Have a back problem, can't get it off the mattress

i left work at morning lunch once cause my "dog got hit by a car"

Worked well until they asked me the next day how my dog was and i had no idea what they were talking about hahahha

http://travelblog.portfoliocollection.com/FeaturedImage/vuvuzela.jpg

heh. when i was in telecom n i had to do a physical for the purposes of health/life insurance... they brought up my sick leave records for the doctor to review. it was a bit of a larf... i had put "upper respiration tract infection" as my reason about 30 times in a row :p the doc, i guess used to telecom bludgers, just said "sickies?" n i'm like "yup... although sometimes i do get a sore throat" :P

i'm glad i don't have to make up excuses anymore... currently at work i don't have to tell anyone a reason unless it's gonna be more than 4 days in a row.

paveway: if you took work off everytime you had a sore throat or a runny nose you would be eating up your holiday hours.

greazy, i take a day off every time i have a runny nose/sore throat/need to see a medico about something and i use about 5 days our of my 8?/10? sick days per year.

i personally don't get sore throats or runny noses often

i either get a bad cold where i feel like s*** for a few days with the nose, headache etc (not necessarily a flu)

or nothing

i haven't been sick this year, i probably will when i go out clubbing next time and get hammered and get home at 5am which smashes my immune system, same thing happen to me last year. i dodged the flu/cold that went around the office a few weeks later i went out and the week after it i got sick lol

don't pull a sickie if you're not sick.

don't infect the office if you are.

it's pretty simple.

most workplaces have remote access anyway. so you can work from home without taking a sickie if its a minor ailment.

I havent taken a sick day for over 3 years. When i last took one i was levelled by a flu and was literally in bed for 2 days.

As for excuses. saying you have the runs is the biggest load of...well s***.
When a fella called in sick he said he had the runs.

I told him get in here. we have a toilet here. he ummed and arred and said ok.


then rang back and said... i really cant come in.

sleepy u sound like a c***. was he a bad worker for you to say that?

no he was a regular sickie caller innerer.

i guess its just my work ethic not to call in sick unless you are unable to work or you are contageous.


he is the generation that thinks everything is owed to them.

takes full compliment of sick days and personal days.


i dont own the business but i run the operations side.
i hate seeing people thinking they are entitled to it so they take it regardless.

it pisses me off delux.

You know what I hate though? Sick c***s that come to work. Happens all the time here, you get in and someone is dribbling and coughing everywhere, and then a few days later a whole bunch of other people are sick. It really sucks. There should be a rule.

Maybe next job I go for, right up front I will make a rule they have to agree with - if I'm sick - I don't come in, if someone else is sick - I go home.

If they're personal days off then he should be able to take them without even giving an excuse.

P.S If it's in their contract they're entitled.

You're a bit of a dick.

i was actually surprised when he said ok he'd come in. i didnt expect that.

but i made my point calling him on his bulls***.

So wait, either way you were going to argue with him? If it was another worker who hardly ever calls in sick you'd also argue?

If they're personal days off then he should be able to take them without even giving an excuse.

if it's personal they should be able to give some notice, or failing notice, an excuse.

Need to clean the blood and hooker sweat off the carpet

given i run childcare and aged care, if someone is sick with an infectious virus then don't come in because the ramifications can be serious. people get sick, people are human, no need to carry on like we are superhuman.

if someone gives me an excuse other than "I'm sick" I usually assume they're lying.

the more detail I get, the less likely I am to believe it.

There are some corporations that prefer you not to come in when your even a little bit sick, they want one person away and the other people working at 100% rather than having people come in sick, everyone getting sick and everyone working at 50%.

Symptoms are sometimes similar to the common cold but if it's the new seasonal virus you'll probably be in bed.

Yep, spend a large chunk of the last 4 days doing just that. The throat infection was from coughing so much.
I just don't want to be the c*** everyone points at when two days later the whole office reports in with the same symptoms.

Regardless of whether it's cold or flu, it's still contagious and still annoying to anyone that catches it so coming in isn't a great idea.

So wait, either way you were going to argue with him? If it was another worker who hardly ever calls in sick you'd also argue?

no i wouldnt.

there is a bloke here who has never had a sick day. on the odd occasion he asks me if i can get by without him if he has something on.
eg. big day out or day one of the cricket or something.
In this case i let him because at least i have notice and i know he doesnt let me down EVER.

These guys are the ones you want to keep. Its because of the slackers and the blokes that think they are OWED these sick days is the reason we dont put many permanent people on. they are all casual unless its clear they are straight shooters. problem is these couple of blokes were put on permanent prior to my dark reign.

the runs is a valid excuse.
No point going to work if you're gonna spend half the day sitting on the toilet with the explosion of farts emanating from the bathroom and echoing through the office hallways.

+1 for the having a runny bum as well. When I pull a sickie every conversation with the boss starts "I can't stop pissing out my arse". This is followed by that's great and then they hang up.

Hahha god there are some bad bosses on here. The ones that "know" the truth. Why don't you become a f***ing magician or detective if you know so much? Use your powers to save babies.

because it's much more fun bossing the likes of you around, thermite.

nb: I'm not a manager, I just have a work ethic.

my old boss u could ring up and tell him you couldnt be f***ed, it was too cold, too stoned/drunk still, Meet u in there later... Was very easy going with the days off =)

The last time I got sick I went around and coughed on everyone's phone. I took out about 10 people with that one, nothing like being a complete c*** to make me feel better.

my old boss u could ring up and tell him you couldnt be f***ed, it was too cold, too stoned/drunk still, Meet u in there later... Was very easy going with the days off =)

exactly the same where I am working now, if I'm crook I just ring in and say I am working from home

the boss always tells us to stay home if we're sick or f*** off if we come to work sick. he doesnt want to get sick and he doesnt want any other employees to get sick either.

explosive diarrhea ... and if they ask just tell them you are spray painting the bowl, they will leave it alone after that.

Thanks for all the useful advice guys, I was tempted to go with the " pissing out of my arse " or maybe the " taking my wife to have her genitals mutilated by the elders" excuse but instead decided to have 3 hours sleep and go into work, talk about a productive day, I managed to eat 2 greasy spring rolls before morning tea washed down with 2 cans of V and by lunch I was fine. Three hours of work, during which time I had an atomic dump ( last nights curry) which stunk out the place and then I went home. If I had to work tomorrow I could have said I wasn't feeling well and there wouldn't have been any questions.

if it's personal they should be able to give some notice, or failing notice, an excuse.

Hahaha, look up what PERSONAL means.

I've had about 3 or 4 days sick leave in the past 4.5 years so years at my current job.

I think twice I had time off because I was physically and mentally exhausted from my workload and had a cold (studying full time and working two jobs) - but they were not short staffed because of me having these two days off and I would have made myself come in if I thought they couldn't have survived without me.

And one time I had food poisoning - and when asked why I had a day off was happy to state that was the reason. My boss is a doctor and doesn't usually ask for sick certificates (at least I've never been asked for one), PROVIDED you are only taking sick days because you are actually sick.

***If you're not a dick about sick days it really shouldn't be an issue.***

Oh yeah, and I completely agree with whomever said that long stories about why you are having a sick day (especially without being asked) are a red flag for someone who is just chucking a sickie unfairly...

How about, My cars been Clamped ?
New Owners of Harrods in England parked in the wrong place



last edited by FaceMan at 22:03:42 30/Jul/10

Have an eye problem can't see myself coming in

I chuckled. I once called up my old boss and said I was having a 'heavy flow day'. We used to joke about how it was bulls*** the way a woman can always play the period card and it's no-questions-asked. Next time I might try "gentleman's troubles". You know, the male counterpart to "lady's troubles".

saying you are 'under the weather' is technically not lying.
rain hail or shine you are always 'under the weather'

for those softcocks that take illegitimate sick days.

i always use the excuse of extreme sniffles

Take so many sickies couldn't give a s***

I reckon i only work about 180 days a year

(Peter Griffin calls Mr. Weed, his boss)
Weed: Hello?
Peter: Mr Weed? It's Peter Griffin. I can't come into work today. I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable... See you tomorrow.

Homer Simpson- " Sorry I can't come in today. Religious holiday. Feast of... maximum occupancy

(Peter Griffin calls Mr. Weed, his boss) Weed: Hello? Peter: Mr Weed? It's Peter Griffin. I can't come into work today. I was in a horrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable... See you tomorrow.

oh wow that's great haha