So work's been a bit quiet lately and I'm checking out other stuff just in case the business goes under and a few of the jobs have the requirement of a pre-employment medical. What exactly is that? Quick swab of the cheek to make sure you're not on drugs or a full blown blood test, xrays, BCS & grab your balls and cough? Or does it depend on the employer?

I also laugh at the number of job ads with "attention to detail" as one of the requirements, but the ad is riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. The irony is delicious.

Anal probe.

Gees what line of work are you in..?
Usually they would only want to make sure you're healthy if they're putting a big investment in you. Like if you're an actor in a movie and you make 70% of the movie then go to hospital or die, they're f***ed, like Lost in La Mancha
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_in_La_Mancha

last edited by thermite at 15:29:06 19/Mar/10

drugs

Is that even legal for a basic job?

Pretty standard for a lot of engineering jobs. Just make sure you don't have an existing back problem, for example, then you start work and after a week you suddenly have a repetitive strain back-injury and can't perform your duties anymore. Yeah, great, work cover will cover it but you still bloody need someone to do the job so you have to go out hiring again which sucks balls.

Last job I had (as an accountant lol) required one.

Pissed in a cup and then had to watch the lady play in it to see if I'm on the hard stuff, got through that - phew.

Other than than that just the usual stuff really, height, weight, penis length or breast size etc.

I was told I was a healthy speciman which was quite surprising as at the time I did basically no exercise and drank lots of beer and did all the wrong things.

Thinking about it, nothings changed.

I think it was just a company wide policy as there are areas of the business that involve heavy and dangerous machinery.

Never give your DNA to anyone.

You should also ask what happens to that Medical Data after the Exam.
Do they now own that data ?
Are they going to sell that information onto a 2nd company that might approach you with health products.
WIll they exchange that information with any other companies ?
Is there any reason why your own Doctor cant carry out the examination ?

hey trog can you put a filter on faceman so whatever he posts it comes out as rape rape rape rape rape rape.

rapeman.

When I did mine (5 Years ago) it was;

Pee in a cup - Drug test
Walk around the carpark (and a little hill near the carpark) and on top of the back of a Square Back Kerb (150mm thick) - To show you're not retarded and trip over easy
On a treadmill for ~30sec - Stamina / Blood Pressure
Show you can pick up a box properly (Lift with legs not back) - Back problems
And some basic stretches to show flexability. Apparently most people cant touch their toes, but thats ok. - I think the chick thought I was hot and wanted to see me bend over.

Pissed in a cup and then had to watch the lady play in it

Some people pay good money for that kind of service.

Is that even legal for a basic job?

Well the jobs I'm having a sniff around are quite physical and involve not being drunk. Looking at welding/fabricating type jobs so there's grinders, saws, all manner of stuff that can cut your head off etc. so they're not going to want some stoner.

Never give your DNA to anyone.

You should also ask what happens to that Medical Data after the Exam.
Do they now own that data ?
Are they going to sell that information onto a 2nd company that might approach you with health products.
WIll they exchange that information with any other companies ?
Is there any reason why your own Doctor cant carry out the examination ?

TBH I'm more worried about their sterilization policy and being poked with dirty needles etc.

Also this may or may not even be required, it depends if work manages to pull through (we literally have NOTHING to do).

Pretty standard for a lot of engineering jobs. Just make sure you don't have an existing back problem, for example, then you start work and after a week you suddenly have a repetitive strain back-injury and can't perform your duties anymore. Yeah, great, work cover will cover it but you still bloody need someone to do the job so you have to go out hiring again which sucks balls.

s*** :( My back is kind of rooted and some mornings I'll wake up and it just hurts for no reason. I still go to work though and work in pain for a week or two then it's back to normal.

last edited by iWhoop at 16:23:50 19/Mar/10

(we literally have NOTHING to do).

I'd prefer this to my situation. We are dwindling, dwindling over the last 3 years with no guarantee that it will go either way. Makes it hard to create a business strategy.

@iWhoop: it's ok if you have a back problem, but that's the kind of thing they are usually looking to identify. If you start work with a pre-existing condition then it will be hard for you to say, "Nah, I got this back problem at this job" because they can say, "Well, according to your pre-employment medical you already had this back problem."

'd prefer this to my situation. We are dwindling, dwindling over the last 3 years with no guarantee that it will go either way.

We suddenly just went quiet a few months ago and it's only a small place with 2 employees and the owner/boss working there so there isn't any room for sacking people to save money. Even people who were sending us thousands of dollars in work a week have sent us nothing lately because they've had nothing to send.

I'm blaming the rain stopping people coming in + interest rises making people buy cheap chinese s*** off ebay :(

the jobs I'm having a sniff around are quite physical and involve not being drunk

ok I had you pegged wrong, thought you were going to be a sys admin for something that controls nukes.

Then again we would all know if there was an open position at mammoth

last edited by thermite at 16:41:34 19/Mar/10

What?
Drug tests?

I was only aware that they did this for mine sites.

We have pee tests at ours, but its checking for blood, not drugs.

Also hearing, lung compacity, bloods... They check the bloods for liver functions and contaminants at our work, and then field staff need to get check ups every 5 (?) years to make sure they're not being exposed to anything nasty.

Also receive any vaccinations due.

What kind of freaks do you work with that have multiple blood types?

and what kind of retarded company checks your urine for blood to then check your blood for urine?

you've all gone mad.

I've done a heap of these for engineering jobs, basically you'll do a piss test to see if you're on various things and then off to another company to do some basic exercises.

Normally it's stepping up and down on a block for ages and then checking your heart rate or on a treadmill then they test your grip power. They'll whisk you off to another room where they make you lift various weights, another variation is lifting 20kg from the floor to a bed and then back down rinse and repeat over and over.
Probably do some flexibility exercises too.

Oh and a note on the piss test, don't drink too much water because if the urine is really clear and they suspect you purposefully diluted it they can make you come back again for another test.

I did a medical for a past employer. They wanted me to go to their preferred medical centre and they would pay for it... I said no and used my own doctor. He charged $80 which I claimed on my tax return.

Was basically eye sight, hearing, posture/backpain (ie can lift stuff), urine test for drugs and diabetes. Took about 20 mins. Nothing invasive.

Nothing new

He charged $80 which I claimed on my tax return.

I would hope you don't get audited, as medical expenses are given as examples of private and domestic expenses which negate the deductibility of work related expenditure.

I just started a new job, it included an extensive medical

its just an excuse for your boss to grab your balls

id happily let my boss grab my balls*



*if it involved a payrise

What?
Drug tests?

I was only aware that they did this for mine sites.

We have pee tests at ours, but its checking for blood, not drugs.

Yeah you guys are confused, the piss in a cup is so the nurse can test it for health reasons, not drugs.

I've done the pre-employment medical for Aus Post 4 times now (they keep making me do it everytime I reapply during uni break).

Involves the urine test (not drugs), eye test, hearing test (heard -5dB last time, epic ears) and then the doctor makes you move your limbs around and do a few exercises for 5 minutes, does his usual cough thing on your chest, do the ahhhhhhh, checks your ears then lies you down and presses on your abs.

Too easy.

my boss is hot, she can grab my balls any time

Yeah you guys are confused, the piss in a cup is so the nurse can test it for health reasons, not drugs.

Wrong. Well wrong onthe drugs part.

My beatiful piss was divided into three or four canisters, each one tested for different things. She specifically asked me have you done drugs recently or had panadol etc because this canister tests for it, I'd had a joint a few months earlier so was marginally concerened - came up negative though.

The canisters were purpose made things that, you piss in it and it fills each canister which was pre-loaded with whatever chemical does the testing.

I cracked the seals on them as directed by the nurse to make the tests happen - kind of like the new Berocca bottles where the tablet drops in the water - maybe that's where Berocca got the idea?

last edited by mission at 08:19:48 20/Mar/10

so yes whoop, u r gonna have to show ur wang indirectly to ur future employer

Wow talk about nazi policies.