The Heaviest Element Known to Science

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.z

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.


Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.


When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

I believed it until money........I need sleep!

governmentium's funeral is next week

Thats a s*** joke.

LOL at morons

Yeah I was wanting a new heavy element to be discovered :(

The joke didn't make me lol too.

I wish I could vote this joke out of the forum

A hydrogen atom came running into a police station asking for help.
Hydrogen atom: Someone just stole my electron!!
Policeman: Are you sure?
Hydrogen atom: Yes, I'm positive

nF's joke atleast was a bit of a chuckle. Still didn't save the thread.

Dihydrogen Monoxide: Facts about this dangerous substance

Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
Contributes to soil erosion.
Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Hahahaha good job sparrow. You just made the thread worse

I aim to please :D

Clearly this thread need more GTR's

I didn't lol but it amused me. Definitely worth sharing. +1

http://i296.photobucket.com/albums/mm190/pointyfork/hazardous.jpg

hehe, chemical properties are good

hehe, nice water joke sparrow,
but whoop's is much better :)

That site Sparrow linked to was used to fool a bunch of hippies (and MP's aha).

It was to point out how a lack of scientific knowledge can easily be used to manipulate peoples thoughts.

Yeah, the original site actually caused several petitions to be sent around. Idiots. I got a short info sheet on this in year 10 science and clicked around 2nd paragraph in. It's so depressing seeing people with no scientific knowledge being fooled by anything and everything the media hand feeds them.