I did many things tonight that I may regret tomorrow.
Drunk + attitude + work colleges = end of career

I actually don't think there was anyone I _didn't_ try to offend :(

Also, this thread is about doing stupid s*** at work parties while you're drunk. So please don't lock as I will like to post an update tomorrow.

Seriously, if I'm not fired tomorrow then don't invest with commsec.
Or do, but go short :)

At the last official Xmas party I went to I skinny dipped in the CEO's pool in front of quite a few people. Fortunately they were all girls and loved it.

I tried to talk big business with the CEO, i was trashed and he was sober

yeah




like he gave a f*** tho im awesome.

omg one time I was so drunk and there was this thing and these guys and then there was that time with the car and omg haha it was so hilarious

You at Commsec? what division?
I am trying to get a job there atm

i got my xmas party tommorow, cant wait.

I was drunk for the first time a few months ago at my best friends house. after spending 5 min climbing a flight of stairs i threw open her door and was like RAAAWWW and then wandered off. what made it awesome was that she was just about to start having sex with her boyfriend as i did it. we all had a good laugh

wow strange rash, you must have been totally wasted to come home and make a perfectly worded post about your massively drunk night.
unless your hot secretary is typing this while youre dictating ofcourse.

One of my christmas parties ended with two cop cars and an ambulance showing up directly because of my actions.

I win.

HAHA MIDWEEK PRECHRISTMAS PARTY LOOSELNEESS

One of my christmas parties ended with two cop cars and an ambulance showing up directly because of my actions.

worst use of a pill evar (id like to bet the house on it being a fizzbomb and not a pill at all)

one of wifeys mates hubbys got the sack after his xmas party

i think he told his boss what was up, and the boss didnt appreciate it

last edited by Spook at 07:25:53 20/Dec/07

I think they should make Christmas party goers immune to getting fired and whatnot, you know. What happens at the party stays at the party ;P

mine is tonight at chalk woot im going to get trollied on work funds and probably abuse a fair amount of ppl. hooray

christmas parties blow

strange rash, spill

no they don't, it's not our fault that you always hate everyone you work with teq

the last christmas party I went to, some stupid slut crashed into my car and tried to drag me through court so she didnt have to pay
stupid whore.

Wasn't so much the work Xmas party but afterwards when I got home around midnight (fiancee was DD), I was putting the bins back inside when my neighbour came over and said to come down and join the street xmas party. So I decided this was a good idea (without telling fiancee) and off I went to join up with the other 6 or 7 guys.

Ended up finishing at 4am, 1 guy spewed, 2 guys did nudey runs, we sang old 70s & 80s songs really loudly while another guy played guiter, the young chick that was there was having balls and cawks shoved in her face by drunken other neighbours. Got home to find I'd left the garage door open, all the lights on and a very pissed off fiancee who didn't know where I went.

Good times.

Haha nice one TicMan. Sounds like a good night ;)

mine is tonight at chalk woot im going to get trollied on work funds and probably abuse a fair amount of ppl. hooray

Mine is today, also at chalk. But mine starts at midday :(

Was at Chalk last night for a client's christmas bash.

Open bar, great food, fun people to talk to, and I was the only guy in a suit.. I looked schmick!

Also, the number of girls who come up and talk to you when you're wearing a suit and drinking martinis is utterly ridiculous.. If only I were single and had no morals (or any chance of catching anything) :)

At the last official Xmas party I went to I skinny dipped in the CEO's pool in front of quite a few people. Fortunately they were all girls and loved it.

Nothing like a good comedy routine to keep the girls happy.

update pls strange rash

Mine is today, also at chalk. But mine starts at midday :(

woot so does mine, see you there!

1hr 15 mins till operation inebriation

wow strange rash, you must have been totally wasted to come home and make a perfectly worded post about your massively drunk night.
unless your hot secretary is typing this while youre dictating ofcourse.

Heh, that was my first thought after reading the post. This is the most coherent drunk I've ever seen. Maybe he was just a bit tipsy....

less talk more shenannigans

you have nothing on this guy:

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=338604

^^^

That guy is my new hero.

paging strange rash to this thread

The company I work for is a family owned company. The grandson of the owner was having a drink and a drunk accountant spat in his hand and rubbed it in the poor guys face. Strangely enough he was not fired or nothing. Gotta love the fact the Grandfather told him to get over it, he is a good accountant and I don't care.

Regardless of whether he's a good accountant or not, if some f***er did that to me, he'd wake up in hospital..

I do not take kindly to that sort of s***.

I second that, I'd give him two black eyes and ask him to count how many fingers im holding up (answer is 1)


..|.,

i thought i'd get totally s***faced on my christmas party with no worries as I had put in my resignation for a few days after it, must have been really good cause I have no recolleciton of the night o_O

This wasn't a work Christmas party but a work function, was at the premier's literary awards cause I was running a video link with a remote location for them. I got so smashed during that night I apparently was introduced to some high level people in the Government afterwards so they could tell me what a great job I'd done, two of my colleagues grabbed one arm each and picked me up off a chair I was on so these people could shake my hand and I just collapsed in front of them. To be honest I don't remember actually doing any of this, the last thing I remember from that night was promising a colleague I wasn't going to throw up right before I did but that was after the event was finished.

/edit: worth mentioning that by the time i got smashed my work was done as I don't normally make a habit of getting drunk on the job :)

last edited by Nailbomb at 14:35:35 20/Dec/07

as long as you were able to keep the information flowing through the tubes it shouldn't matter

haha. can't wait for ours tomorrow evening. last years was epic though I can't recall most of it.

This was my last christmas party.
my bosses house is not quite in the picture, but I was just about to pull up 50m down the road and go in for shenanigans

http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5020/44113175wb7.jpg


http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2350/49984262xu2.jpg


http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/1743/74818242mb6.jpg

yeah it was the christmas parties fault that you were speeding

that can't be proven, she was in the wrong and it was proven in a court of law
mwahaha

well i survived day 1
i don't think things were as bad they seemed
just embarassed by it all

although i'm pretty sure i don't have a great future ahead of me

basically just got drunk and started telling everyone how it was

my boss intervened when i started on one of the top executives

sorry, but my update is a bit of an anticlimax

Yes, yes it is.

wow strange rash, you must have been totally wasted to come home and make a perfectly worded post about your massively drunk night

yeah, i can't quite explain that...

that is soooo Home and Away dude.

haha

try following your girly into the s***ter after a drunken spat and kicking the door open and accidentally smashing her nose in the process, then kinghitting your boss in the ensuing pandemonium and him sliding down the glass window onto the carpet.

win?

you softcocks can't hold your piss.

isle 3 of bunnings.. industrial strength hardenup, its the solution to everything.

I flashed my titties at one christmas party. Well, I was walking across Logan road and did it in the middle of the road. Classy!

Then there was another where I got dressed afterwards at work to go out and my attire was in a word slutty. Got a few looks while leaving (very uppity law firm).

Glad those days are behind me, I tell you what!

And I agree... this thread had potential, bit it died :(

I can tell you a f***ing dodgey story but it goes the opposite way - one of the Senior managers got smashed at this party and started talking to me. He was a flaming homosexual and very open about it. I had just got the job so I was being very diplomatic and polite to everyone (rather than my usual drunken self of piss taking and arse-grabbing).

This guy starts telling me about his current boyfriend and that he knows he's been to "underground clubs" in New York, because some of the things he does you can only learn in New York and he's been there and done that...

Yudda yudda... I politely ask something like, "So does he work in Brisbane?" or something very similar.

Casual as a cucumber my senior manager then goes on to tell me about how he (the manager) has just paid for his boyfriend to fly to the states to, and I quote word for word, "Do a fist f***ing film."

All the time I'm politely nodding my head going, "Oh that's interseting," while in my head I'm thinking, "LOLOOLOLOLOLO WTF"

I had a public service pissup for some random reason on friday night as we habitually did in government. It just so happened that this Friday night I was also scheduled to board a bus for a week long sports officiating trip interstate. I packed all my gear and left it in my office to collect prior to departure. It was an overnight bus trip to Sydney (why the tight c***s didn't spring for air travel I'll never know).

The bus departure was around 10.00pm and I figured I could fit in a few quiet departure ales prior to that time. I then proceeded to get completely smashed off my face to the point where I could not speak or walk. At about 9.30pm someone asked me if I was supposed to be getting a bus and I had gotten to the point where I could have given a f*** if I missed it.

I was pushed out the pub and stumbled to my office block. I couldn't get in after hours because my swipe card wouldn't work for some reason, so the cleaners let me into the building after I relentlessly banged on the front glass doors. I then got to my office and vomitted all over my desk and chair and suitcase as I tried to get changed.

I then fell into the vomit and got it over the new set of clothes I had put on and was escorted to the toilet by the female azn non-english speaking cleaner who felt very sorry for me so I could try and clean myself and remove some of the vomit from my face etc..

I then vomited more. I then got dressed and walked in a state of bare consciousness to the bus depot. I had delayed the bus departure and everyone was standing out the front looking at me. I looked like total s***, barefeet and stank of piss and vomit. And I was one of the officials for this sports tour.

I then traveled then ext 12 hours vomiting and sleeping. I forgot to bring my mobile so had to ring my PA on Monday to courier it down. There was like 20 messages on there from people telling me I was late and checking up on me. My PA said the whole office area stank of vomit and had to be specially cleaned. I was quite the talk of the town that week. Thank God I was in another city.

Ah to be young again.

last edited by infi at 16:22:10 21/Dec/07

I screwed the secretary after a work Christmas party in 2005, I wasn't drunk though so I guess it's not as cool

nice one teq! what was his name?

virtual locker room itt

work xmas parties are good fun. 90% of the people are lightweights so by the time im mildy drunk, most of the senior management are making wankers out of em'selves and everything is easily remembered. not to mention the quiet and recluse female work colleagues turning into utter hornbags

I went with a mate to his work christmas party in the hope of getting a job there, got super duper wasted and was dancing around in the car park with my shirt off for an hour or so.

I guess they didn't see this as a valuable skill

^ HAHAHA

this c*** above me has to be one of the loosest drunks iv ever met

im pretty loose on the piss (acting like a wanka, what u gonna do ) but reload just puts me to shame, cant control any of his limbs, just like a f***ing jellyfish, litterally loose as fuk.

Mate had xmas party last w/end and someone fell 8m off a balcony and ended up in a coma.

cool!!^

^ ive never been that loose

I got absolutely f***ing obliterated at my xmas party.

It's actually enhanced my career because I loosened up, hugged 90% of the people there and told the director I loved him and thought he was a top bloke.

lol

(i.e. - a normal night out for me)

i had a party and all put all the brits and euros to shame by buying them all drinks on my drinking card

they were all s***faced while i was still getting warmed up

of course.. they then all slowed down as i charged ahead and had to be drivin home something something.. car.. something black something

anyway the next day i went for a walk in the forest and got some nice pictures of the trees

nice one teq! what was his name?

paveway

hhahahaha


ok i got one

we have free drinks night at work last friday of every month. One of my mates joined me and we had some brews then went out after.

Decided to call it a night around 1am, so we went back to my office to take a slash and call a cab. Problem was my mate went really downhill really quickly.

We got about 2 steps into the office and he hurled all over the carpet, then went to the s***ters while I cleaned it up. Then he comes out and im like, cool lets go.

Monday i roll in and get called up for a chat. Apparently hed gone into our toilets and just f***ing hurled everywhere, all over the walls and s***. I didnt know cos I didnt follow him in, so when the cleaner came in he was met with dry stinking chunder wallpaper and went nuts and wanted more money and a contract re-negotiation or some s***.

So after that the set a "no mates getting boozed in the office" rule.

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/6247/picture14se6.jpg

I just back back from Christmas party drinks, no drama.

BUT, a year or so ago one office buddy s*** on the floor in the crappers (in our office in the city). I was last one there with him, not a good scene. It was a pretty nasty stool, about 2ft from the crapper, how you could miss? I don't know.

Got a nasty letter from the cleaners - staff drinks have never been the same :(

I don't think any of our group ever manages to get that drunk anymore? None of us really have been vommitters, and if we do, we're still with it enouhg to make it to a toilet/sink/garden/pot plant/rubbish bin.

I used to work at a video shop and we had a Christmas do in a swanky inner city restaurant. One of the duty managers hit the rumbos pretty hard and by the time the (tiny) main meal had come out, he decided it would be a good idea to hold up a bit of cos lettuce as a screen and talk about the big boss as if he wasn't sitting across the table from him. He keep calling him "Patrice" (the bosses name was Patrick) and tried to get one of the blokes to piggy back him out of the restaurant.

Also at a timber yard I worked at (for a brief but memorable stint) they threw a Christmas party complete with a full blown fruit and vege show in one of the sheds. One bloke ended up with a rather slimy carrot in his top pocket.

Good times.

you downstairs mission last nite?

i kept an eye out for ya, but we were upstairs

goodtimes

balcony upstairs is a pretty nice spot

hi spook

WES (bb/channel 10 news) was there

my favourite time was when i said "hi wes"

lols, stackhat was also there

lies.. there was no wes

Our function was upstairs but at about 4ish we all had to go downstairs.

I scoured that place looking for you - didn't think to go back upstairs.

I did enjoy pissing on the glass wall though.

last edited by mission at 09:21:39 22/Dec/07

haha, yer, theres something satisfying about pissing on the wall watching everyone eat

That used to be the coolest thing when it first came out... but I virtually don't even notice it anymore when I go in there.

just have to make sure a hot chick doesn't walk past or you could be pissing on the roof.

you can put a lighter up to that wall and it makes it so that the people eating can see in, well it used to be anyway

got thrown out of there for taking a piss and doing it and givin my little fella a spin for the diners, the looks on the ladies faces are f***ing gold, coz all they see is a cock, no body or antyhign, just a wanger

LOL

Hah, class act exis.

but why would they be staring at the wall waiting for it to illuminate, or did you tap on the window too?

maybe a glowing penis is difficult not to notice