http://www.joystiq.com/2006/09/06/uwe-i-make-crappy-game-movies-boll-silences-his-first-critic/


Uwe Boll challenges some internet nerds to a fight, nerd steps up... turns out nerd cant throw a punch and makes a fool of himself.

Starts off slow, gets better in round 2 3-4 min or so.

why did you post this?

Why the f*** not?

Lowtax is going to rock his world

If by rock his world you mean shake the ring as Lowtaxes fat arse hits the ground, then yes that is what will happen.

Okay Bah

Oh sorry i should have replied "Yeah man gooo team something awful!"

You completely missed the point of my post and ended up turning it into the worst attempt at humour these forums have ever seen. We still love you though.

I'll just slink away quietly then :(

i've always wondered how i would look defending myself in the ring..
and now i know...

but at least this wasn't choreographed like that crap in the other 'Quick Fight' thread

last edited by partyhat at 21:09:19 07/Sep/06

bah i'm sensing a pattern in your threads, you violent c***

that's probably the worst fight i've ever watched...

I've never actually tried but how hard/easy would it be to hit someone with boxing gloves on? Wouldn't you have to have slightly more power behind your punch than if you were fighting bare knuckled in order to knock someone out or even land any sort of decent blow? I'm guessing your average internet nerd who does nothing but play WoW all day has little to no physical strength.

that's probably the worst fight i've ever watched...

I bet I'd do worse :)

all the gloves really do is mostly remove the skin-cutting effect that mits or bare knuckles have. if you're not used to their weight, they make your upper arms ache a lot after a while

It was kinda cool of Ewe (geddit?) not to knock the guy the f*** out. I hate his game-movie butchery as much as the next man, but it was nice of him to go easy on teh nerd and give him a drawn out bout in teh ring.

actually, i think khel could take him

Whoop, gloves aren't really that soft :)

Rubba, eK myself and a few others have done a few boxing scuffles, including one match to a strobe light, that was f***ed up..
Long story short, Rubba made his bro eK bleed a bit even with gloves :)

Are you kidding crizane? He's a semi-professional boxer in good physical shape versing people who have never boxed a day in their life and have no idea how (or the physical capacity) to throw a punch. He's an arsehole already, I'm pretty sure not severely hurting them is the least he could do.

If people know this before they get in the ring with him then what's the problem with him dusting them up a bit?

Exactly. This guy was dumb enough to get into the ring with Uwe. He should be thankfull Uwe didn't pimp slap him down. I didn't really see the nerd get too hard. I've taken worse hits and walked it off.

because maybe they're mostly just taking it up for the humor of the situation not realising just how much of a dick this guy is and could be severely hurt?

I think it's called being taught a lesson the hard way.

Are you telling me you give a f*** if some random all talk retard gets hurt or not?

I love the comments on the website:

Bah, boxing is a wimp's sport anyway. MMA is where the fun is at. No retarded rules like "no clinching and no kicking" there.

ditto on the MMA. the weakest fighters in mixed martial arts--pride, f1, ufc--could beat the best in boxing any day

ROFL. Reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite's brother talking up his martial arts prowess.

because maybe they're mostly just taking it up for the humor of the situation not realising just how much of a dick this guy is and could be severely hurt?

Uwe challenged his critics to a boxing match...where exactly is the humour in that?

Or do you not understand what the sport of boxing involves?

I dunno, it'd be pretty funny if a skinny lanky nerd beat the crap out of a semi professional boxer

Uwe challenged his critics to a boxing match...where exactly is the humour in that?

It's like you answered your own question before you even asked it

V V V I'm not even trying, your internet machoism seems to be getting in the face of logic and comprehension. I mean, it's totally in my face.

last edited by Hashy at 23:38:37 07/Sep/06

*sigh*

Did it look like Uwe was forcing the guy to fight, dips*** ?

You lose hashy.

Oh man, that magician wants you to come up on stage to be sawn in half?

YOU SHOULD WEIGH UP THE RISKS AND POSSIBLE DANGERS BEFORE VENTURING INTO SUCH A SITUATION, I MEAN WHAT IF HE TOTALLY TEACHES YOU A LESSON BECAUSE IT'S FOR REAL

It's not hard to understand how people could walk into this not thinking Uwe totally serious - and it's very easy to not expect to be really hurt.

BUT HE SHOULD BE TOTALLY DECKED BECAUSE HE ENTERED AN EXHIBITON MATCH BETWEEN A DIRECTOR AND AN INTERNET ICON. I MEAN WHO COULD NOT SEE HOW THIS IS A SERIOUS MATCH YOU GUYS.

Edit: V V V What about the movie cameras and lighting equipment and clapper board? Are these signs of a serious boxing match?

Man, putting it that way the movie stars of western films were putting themselves in serious danger what with all the guns and stuff.

Hurrrrr.

last edited by Hashy at 23:52:33 07/Sep/06

So hang on, If someguy challenges you to a boxing match, you turn up to the venue, someone gives you a set of boxing gloves, you jump into the ring, see Uwe Boll with his gloves on, see the referee and the crowd, the bell rings....


OH HANG ON HE MIGHT JUST BE JOKING LOLOL...

I guess we are just gonna have to pry that shovel from your cold dead fingers hashy.

*sigh*

Hashy: I suggest you do a bit of reading, here is a good start.

However, for the sake of things I shall do a little bit of quoting.

Towards the end of the filming of the “Postal” the 5 most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms. As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra / stand-in in “Postal” and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll. Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10 bout match. There will be 5 matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All 5 fights will be televised on the internet and will be covered by international press.

If critics want to bring Uwe Boll down, here is their chance to physically bring him down and have the entire world watch them do it.

versing people who have never boxed a day in their life and have no idea how (or the physical capacity) to throw a punch

This guy had plenty of warning the match was coming up, he could have had some training if he wanted it, obviously not enough to match Uwe, but he could have been less of an embarrassment to himself and internet heroes everywhere.

Are these signs of a serious boxing match?

From the looks of that it was going to be as serious as Uwes opponent wanted it to be, Uwe saw that internets guy had nothing so just threw some easy punches, if internet guy had gone hard I think Uwe would have picked his game up (maybe we'll see that in one of the other bouts?)

last edited by Bah at 00:04:42 08/Sep/06

Also had Boll been going hell for leather the fight would have been stopped early by the referee/opposition trainer as soon as the mismatch became apparent.

*sigh* <-- Are we in AOL #housewives all of a sudden?

You're basing all of these arguements off f***ing wikipedia articles and blind assumptions when the most obvious indication of what I've been saying is right in your face: because they damn well wouldn't be doing it if they thought they were going to get seriously hurt. Would you?. Sure the wikipedia article states it's their "chance to take him down" but I don't often deck little bratty kids who run up to me and kick me in the shin looking for a fight. Sure you can say they have no idea what they were starting, but neither do people who have never thrown or received a punch in their life.

TEACH THEM A LESSON I SAY, IN THE FASE.

Also had Boll been going hell for leather the fight would have been stopped early by the referee/opposition trainer as soon as the mismatch became apparent.

Not before possible death for someone like that guy if he went all out. BUT I MEAN HE SHOULD'VE WENT ALL OUT, I MEAN IT'S A BOXING MATCH AFTER ALL.

From the looks of that it was going to be as serious as Uwes opponent wanted it to be, Uwe saw that internets guy had nothing so just threw some easy punches, if internet guy had gone hard I think Uwe would have picked his game up (maybe we'll see that in one of the other bouts?)

This is exactly it. But according to crizane he should've been pimpslapped into the mat for even entering the ring. I mean it's unlikely he assumed that uwe wouldn't hurt him if he didn't stand a chance.

This guy obviously has no idea what is involved in a "boxing match", so no it wouldnt surprise me if he thought uwe was going to throw butterflies and pixy dust at him.

So it's pretty similar to my little kid analogy really. Uwe Bowl truely is a saint for not nearly killing him if you ask me. Good on him.

last edited by Hashy at 00:12:58 08/Sep/06

because they damn well wouldn't be doing it if they thought they were going to get seriously hurt. Would you?.

This guy obviously has no idea what is involved in a "boxing match", so no it wouldnt surprise me if he thought uwe was going to throw butterflies and pixy dust at him.

And the fact that the fight seemed to have been done in some sort of good humour kind of goes against your assertation that Uwe is an arsehole.

last edited by Bah at 00:11:46 08/Sep/06

There is a difference between picking a fight in the street and getting in a boxing ring with someone. A large and tangible difference. Your analogy is s***.

This is exactly it. But according to crizane he should've been pimpslapped into the mat for even entering the ring

Calm down hashy, take a deep breath. I never said that. I said it was nice of Uwe to play around with the guy in the ring a bit. Uwe COULD have beaten the living f*** out of him, but didn't because either:

a)He's decent guy

or

b)It was an exhibition fight.

Calm down and Lern2read.

I hope one of these five fights has someone who took this thing half seriously, and not some kind of e-joke to get some e-fame. At the very least, maybe we will get the next "star wars kid"?
I mean its kind of ironic all these internet people who are so anti Uwe giving him free publicity in a "lolz i am e-fighting irl"... welll that is probably the point of the whole exercise.

last edited by Bah at 00:19:35 08/Sep/06

A large an tangible difference between picking a fight in the street and picking a fight against a internet-laughing-stock movie director in an internet spectacle broadcast over the internet when you're an internet writer?

I agree.

I never said that. I said it was nice of Uwe to play around with the guy in the ring a bit.

Okay, I went to the trouble of wrapping up this thread because people aren't reading it properly. Buckle up.

bah: my brain hurts
Crizane: It was good of him not to hurt him
Me: I think it was the least he could do considering he's a professional boxer and the others aren't, and they're also wimpy. He's a bit of a dick in the first place for even challenging them to something he's good at when they stand no chance
Fpot: Hurr no he should've known the risks I think uwe had every right to hurt him
Me: No I think he just assumed it was going to be a joke match and thus didn't consider the risks and didn't deserve to be severely hurt
Fpot: NO IT'S CALLED TEACHING HIM A LESSON
ek: Rargh There's nothing funny about a boxing match they should've known the consequences. They should've totally gotten the pain because they should've known the CONSEQUENCES. Look I've bolded the word boxing to complete the arguement. [implication that Hashy doesn't know what boxing is]
Me: It's a professional boxer challenging a bunch of writers on the internet with no experience to a boxing match, it's easy to assume it wasn't serious.
ek: SIGH YOU DIPSHIFT NOBODY FORCED HIM TO FIGHT UWE BOWL
fpot: lol you lose hashy
me: [once again explains that they had plenty of reason to assume it would be a friendly/exhibiton match, it being filmed for a movie et al]
ek: hang on it clearly has a ring and everything THEY KNOW THE RISKS because clearly you can't have a fun match INSIDE A BOXING RING WEARING BOXING GLOVES
fpot: stop digging yourself into a hole hashy can't you see the ek has your goat
ek: Look man, it says in this article on the internet that they have a chance to really show him up. No-one could assume it was still a joke for the sake of publicity, even though uwe picked these people out based upon how dweeby they are and it's being filmed. No-one. I once again bolded the word boxing.
bah: hey guys what's going on in this thread?
fpot: clearly the ref would've stopped him before anyone got too hurt
me: they wouldnt've have even done it if they thought they were going to get hurt, whether they thought it was a joke or just assumed uwe would be a decent human being and not hit an ultimately defenseless guy. [kid analogy that highlights this]
bah: obviously they have no idea what they were getting into or thought it was just going to be a joke match! also hashy is wrong even though I just agreed with his whole arguement.
fpot: THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FIGHT IN A STREET AND A BOXING MATCH, ALLOW ME TO TOTALLY MISINTEPRUT YOUR ANALOGY THEN BREAK IT DOWN ON AN ARGUEMENT BY ARGUEMENT BASIS
crizane: calm down hashy I just said he was a cool guy that's all, calm down. calm down.
bah: boy guys I hope someone gets hurt next time

last edited by Hashy at 00:59:52 08/Sep/06

hahaha.

oic

LOL I like the summary. A+

Lets box hashhh

Its painfully obvious from the start that teh internets maen didn't bother getting as much as a lesson from his old man. He just looked like it was the very first time he'd put gloves on.

I don't get it. That fight was always gonna end up on Youtube - why wouldn't you at min prepare enough to at least look the part? Or did internets guy honestly think that because Uwe makes s*** movies that it meant he couldn't box?

Edit: Cleaned up the garble above. The older I get the harder it is to read the s*** I write. wtf is with that?

last edited by Hogfather at 08:52:27 08/Sep/06

I reckon I could take Uwe. BY KICKING HIM IN THE f***! LOLOL

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ea/DoNotFeedTroll.svg

Who was the nerd in that fight?

Also I cannot believe the nerd did not even make an attempt at preparing for it. What an embarrasment. Your e-fame would be excessive if you managed to knock Uwe on his arse, or at least put up a manly example of a fight. Correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't making a disgrace of yourself as a man detract from your popularity? Excruciating. When's the next 4 matches?

I am just glad that there has been some talking about fighting on here lately. And in reference to an early post about boxing gloves, they are only meant to protect the puncher. They stop you from breaking knuckles as much and that means you can punch someone a lot more. Fighters sometimes have a hard time fighting in the street because they cant punch like they do with the gloves on. It is very easy to break a knuckle trying to do it.

i reckon u c***s should shutup and get into the ring.

i don't care if the dude in the vid was a complete wimp - at least he got in there and had a go. not everyone can be mike tyson.

i would of gone into the ring to fight uwe boll, but i dont meet his strict criteria, aka im not weak enough and small enough.

*note i still would of lost cause i cant fight for s***.

Props to Uwe Boll for using his fists to silence his critics, instead of making better movies

(I've never seen any of his movies afaik and don't plan to, not because the internets made me believe he sux, but because movies about video games invariably suck the megawang)

i reckon u c***s should shutup and get into the ring.

Haha, I'd like to see that! And I'm not even normally interested in boxing or any of that sort of stuff.

but because movies about video games invariably suck the megawang)

I thought Silent Hill wasn't too bad.

Granted I hadn't really played the games and only knew the loose connections so the whole "omg that isn't perfectly true to the game" didn't happen for me.
Would have been better with better actors/acting though.

The only one I have seen is House of the Dead and oh boy.

I don't get it. That fight was always gonna end up on Youtube - why wouldn't you at min prepare enough to at least look the part?

he did, sort of at the start.. i mean his stance and dancing etc was all relativly correct. it was obvious he has never fought someone in a ring before though.

nah he definitely didn't

Anyone who has seen a rocky movie knows how to stand like a boxer for 5 seconds before the s*** hits the fan.

Anyone who has seen a rocky movie knows how to stand like a boxer for 5 seconds before the s*** hits the fan.

thats my point, he seemed to atleast look up something. so its not like he went in there going "yeah, im tough, i rock, f*** that hurt" he obviously looked it up on the net at least.

Um he was a movie critic, he has prbably seen a boxing film before.
And looking at a boxing pic on the internet doesnt really constitute any kind of preperation for a fight.

I thought Silent Hill wasn't too bad.

Really? I saw Silent Hill yesterday and I thought it was terrible. I wanted scary :/.

I didn't realise it was based on a video game either - prolly also why I didn't particularly like it.

Having played the SH games, I thought that it was one of the only video game based movies to actually try and stay true to the game, instead of deviating for the mass market (where it flops on its arse anyway). Reguardless, that bit near the start where sirens herald the first transition, where she's walking through the alley and chainlinked fineces, that's f***ing creepy.