A young blonde woman in Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself from the Harbour Bridge.

She went down to the bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain.

"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors, who's stowed me away", she explained, "I get food and free passage to Europe, and he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Manly Ferry."

Discuss.

LOL

hehe, Manly

http://kaiser.dreamhost.com/OT_stuff/hehe_i_get_jokes.jpg

last edited by WetWired at 09:02:40 23/Feb/09

haha not bad old son

lol

The sailor works 7 nights a week? Tough gig.

This is older than Jim.

so how can she confuse a ferry with a navy vessel, doesn't make sense :/

Maybe this was during wartime when different types of vessels were being used by the military?

so how can she confuse a ferry with a navy vessel, doesn't make sense :/

she was blonde

maybe you c***s are just s***?

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

but 1 in 7 are Dopey - not unlike the women from OP

last edited by tequila at 11:19:36 23/Feb/09

The sailor works 7 nights a week? Tough gig.

Let's all over-think it:

sif you could bring three sandwiches, a piece of fruit and have sex all night every night for three weeks.

And imagine the tedium of living in a life-boat for three weeks.

Not sure if this has been posted before and don't really care if it has.

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If SHE asks you, it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, you're a pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!

when's the f***ing funeral?

My marriage counselor said I needed to be more spontaneous.

So I raped her.

haha nice one.

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

sif you could bring three sandwiches, a piece of fruit and have sex all night every night for three weeks.

And imagine the tedium of living in a life-boat for three weeks.

yeah, where would she s*** and piss? in the lifeboat? and this guy is coming and f***ing her everynight sitting in a pool of s*** and piss and she can't shower? gross

A prostitute, who was also a Cricket fan, had a tattoo of Brett Lee

and Shane Warne on the inside of her thighs.

She says to one of her customers, a regular, "If you can guess who

they are, you get a free shag".

He looks to the left and then to the right and says "I dunno who those

ugly bastards are but the one in the middle with the fat lips and

curly hair is Andrew Symonds!"

I've done my bit for a charity this year and bought my kids advent calenders from The Spastics Society.

They're okay, but the kids want to know why they have to lick the windows to get them to open.

Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.

Please give just a small donation of £2 and we will send you the video; it's f***ing hilarious!

Hahaha

the African one is hilarious

8-)