Yet another one of Mr Hardware's Bad Jokes threads

The Lord said to John: Come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and only won a toaster...

Also

A mate of mine had a girlfriend he used to call .05. I asked him one day why he called her that, and he said it was because she "is the bag i blow into when i'm pissed".

oh it's like a pun

in fact, it IS a pun

are bad jokes funny? there has to be a reason for them to exist.

how do you take a dog with no legs out for a walk?

take him out for a drag.

haha spock, you just butchered a classic

pls retell trog

those jokes are terribad

laugh at this instead: http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&ftab=FeedbackLeftForOthers&userid=tryork5ifp&fromPage=-1&iid=-1&de=off&items=25&page=3

I believe Spock's was supposed to be something like, "Why was the dog with no legs called Cigarette?"

Because every night you have to take him out for a drag.

what's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

I don't f*** the pizza before I eat it

and pizza's dont scream when you put them in the oven

aw, i thought you meant i actually butchered it, by cutting off the dogs legs from another joke.

Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its toung was stapled to the floor.


Why did the little girl fall off the swings? She has no arms

wat do u call an Ethiopian family portrait





a barcode

http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php?title=Main_Page enjoy ( yes i have posted this site up before)

Julianne Moore

I'm sweating like an Austrian at a family reunion.

What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?

You can make soldiers out of toast.

I wanked over a blind girl yesterday.

She never saw it coming.

whats the difference between Maddy and Pope John Paul II?

The pope died a virgin.

whats the best thing about f***ing a transvestite?

when you reach around the front thinking that you have gone all the way through.

laugh at this instead: http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&ftab=FeedbackLeftForOthers&userid=tryork5ifp&fromPage=-1&iid=-1&de=off&items=25&page=3

andy46477 did that 8 years prior, and funnier:
http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback2&userid=andy46477&ftab=FeedbackLeftForOthers&memberid=andy46477

those weren't really funnny, tryork makes them sound like they relate to the item he just bought. andy is just random.

ive got one !




sandra sully

Why do Jews watch porn films backwards?

They love the bit where the prostitute gives the money back.

two condoms are standing outside a gay bar. one of them turns to the other and says, 'wanna get s***faced?'.

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Two Jews at an American football match.

One of them shouts "Get the quarterback."

once there was a cabbage

whats the best thing about an irish joke the timing.

sleepy made me f***ing lol

another ebay feedback lols

+1 for the .05

Went to the cemetery the other day and saw 4 men carrying a coffin,

3 hours later I saw the same 4 men with the same coffin.
Thought to myself - they've lost the f***ing plot

ha ha ha ha.....oh!

had an email yesterday off some bird "32, single, bored, looking for some action"
so i sent her some ironing....that should keep her busy.

That one cracks me up

Q:Why did the crow win the noble prize for physics

A: Because it was standing alone in its field