How do you know when it's bedtime at Neverland?

The big hand is on the little hand!!!!1111

Get it? Get it?

I've heard better :P

fail.

Sounds like a 3:55am kinda joke.....

laffing @ 830

ive got a good joke

you know there is this chair
and it has these shoes

and its walking down the street LOL

What do Michael Jackson and a big mac have in common?

They both involve a 40 year old piece of meat between two 9 year old buns

Hahahah! nice one Wet.

why do souths supporters carry lighters?


because they've lost all their matches

!!!!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne,

Acne doesn't come on your face till your 15

nubbin i heard u were held at gun point by a gay rapist, and told to suck his dick or die.

glad to hear that you're ok

Why is this thread s***ty?

because it's full of old jokes.

LOL GET IT GET TI??

I have this awesome joke... ok this guy walks into a bar right... damn I forgot the punch line but your mums a whore anyway.

thats a good one greazy

this guy walks into a bar and says OW!....


ahem anywho....

i see what you did there dint

Michael Jackson was going to donate money towards the copperfield miners. He didn't realise they were old.

*silence*

HIM: Can I buy you a drink?
HER: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HIM: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours
HER: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HIM: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
HER: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HIM: How did you get to be so beautiful?
HER: I must've been given your share.

HIM: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
HER: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HIM: Your face must turn a few heads.
HER: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HIM: I think I could make you very happy.
HER: Why? Are you leaving?

HIM: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
HER: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HIM: Can I have your name?
HER: Why? Don't you already have one?

HIM: Where have you been all my life?
HER: Hiding from you.

HIM: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
HER: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HIM: Is this seat empty?
HER: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

HIM: So, what do you do for a living?
HER: I’m a female impersonator.

HIM: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
HER: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

http://tofu.teamdot.com.au/4chan/sandwich/1141592909912.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v104/zeezee/Random/post-6-1144646246.jpg

ok this guy walks into a bar right... damn I forgot the punch line but your mums a whore anyway

that's awesome, i can't wait to tell people that.

ok this guy walks into a bar right... damn I forgot the punch line but your mums a whore anyway

...and stolen from Saturday Night Live's "Jeopardy" skit.




Busted.

or the family guy/american dad i cant remember which one

yeah cause SNL is all original material hey... that joke is older than cavemen (still awesome too).

A blonde was driving down the highway on her way to catch a flight, but turned around disheartened when she saw the sign saying 'Airport Left'.

Also, went through the Catholic education system, this is one of my favourite jokes...

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.

He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
following note on the door

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the s*** out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12) The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

i liked the jesus ones

...and stolen from Saturday Night Live's "Jeopardy" skit.
Busted.

I heard the joke from a co-worker. Never heard of the show. Nearly every joke is not original. Saying busted is just retarded.

If you haven't heard of SNL then it is you who are retarded.

If you haven't heard of SNL then it is you who are retarded.

Im not going to s*** on this thread just because you need to fill the never ending void of your ego.

I know this is a jokes thread but this is still funny:
http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/1180/showpic8kp.jpg Old I know but Im sure not everyone has seen it.

last edited by Greazy at 17:04:19 23/May/06