Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says; "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

well found bud !

I chuckled

HAHAHAHAHAHA no, that sucked, sorry

Hehe

Well done ol' chap!

Has anyone seen that movie First Blood? The one about the twelve year old girl.

Next time you tell it take the newspaper out of the joke and just say "The nun explains", it totally ruins the plausability.

Has anyone seen that movie First Blood? The one about the twelve year old girl.

I was about to say - isn't that Rambo when the sickness hit me :/

Thanks Rev...

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods.

Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to

hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond. Fred looked for a

long time, getting angrier every minute.

Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball. Instead

of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single

buttercup in that patch. Suddenly, in a flash and puff of smoke, a

little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how

long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have

any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life.....better still; you

won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.....as a

matter of fact,

you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" Then

POOF!...she was gone. After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for

his friend, "Harry!... Harry!... where are you?" Harry yells, "I'm over

here, in the pussy willows." Fred screams back..... "DON'T SWING!!! FOR

GOD'S SAKE!! DON'T SWING!!!"

hahahhaa

hahahahahaha nice one dale

yay i finally did a good joke

LOL, thats a good one Mav

TK's joke bad Mav's joke Good

last edited by infi at 23:41:34 13/Sep/06

That hurt infi...

it aint personal bro. just try harder k?

i clarified my comment for you :D

last edited by infi at 23:42:07 13/Sep/06

Stick to the news threads :P

Stick to the news threads :P

LOL, I'll remember that when you start complaining about them!

Come on then, if you think they are bad educate us with what you think is funny!!

both jokes sucked ... mav's wasn't executed properly, and it would've been funnier if the punch line had been telling the guy to go nuts and whack everything

since when is it funny HELPING your friends

the last joke that made me laugh, apart from things from spikedhumor/simpsons/family guy/futurama/south park/american dad, was one in the paper a few months back ... found it online:

A man walks into a bar and orders three pints of beer, and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each.

When he finishes, he returns to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender tells him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The man replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

The man becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The man looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye, and he laughs.

"Oh, no," he says, "My Brothers are fine. I've just quit drinking."

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes and bows in prayer.

His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."

The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

i say hashy's is definately the best

For once a joke thread with funny jokes.